Bea Alonzo, ‘ambassador of ghosting,’ gives tips on moving on
Bea Alonzo gave her insights on moving on in a recent vlog, where her friends Angel Locsin and Neil Arce asked her for advice about being ghosted.
The actress described herself as the “ambassador of ghosting” and dished advice based on her personal experience, as seen in the couple’s video posted on Thursday, Oct. 29.
Locsin and Arce gave tips for moving on that they found online and asked Alonzo to weigh in on them. They also greeted her a “happy anniversary” — it has been over a year after her split with actor Gerald Anderson.
“You know I can’t believe [that] after a year, pagtatatawanan na lang natin (we would just laugh about this),” the “One More Chance” star said.
The first tip was to post on social media so that the other person can see it. Alonzo disagreed, stating that what you post should be for you.
“Iniisip mo pa rin siya, ibig sabihin hindi mo binibigyan ang sarili mo ng room to move on. Nabubuhay ka rin para sa kanya,” she said.
(You’re still thinking about him, it means you are not giving yourself room to move on. You are still living for him.)
“Ghinost ka so in a way, binlock ka sa buhay niya (You were ghosted so in a way, you were blocked from his life),” Alonzo explained, noting that you should block the person who blocked you.
For the second tip, “Don’t blame yourself,” Alonzo agreed and admitted that it took her some months before she realized it.
She said she would add to the piece of advice: “Do not blame yourself, and also surround yourself with people who will empower you.”
The actress explained that you tend to blame yourself because you were not given the chance to know what went wrong.
“Ramdam mo na hindi ka nag-matter (You feel like you do not matter),” she said.
Alonzo had conditions for the third tip, which is “don’t call or text.”
She said that if there was no third party involved, she would give a chance for the person to explain their side.
When Arce asked if you need to talk to the other person to get closure, Alonzo said, “I think closure is overrated.”
“But having the respect to talk to another person for a breakup, I think iyon ang pina-kaimportante (that is the most important).”
Alonzo agreed with putting your energy into work and said that “soul-searching,” like traveling after a breakup, could lead to a “relapse” when you are back to your routine.
She was against going to the house of the person who ghosted you.
“Napaka-cheap iyon,” she said, adding that you should give yourself respect. And similarly, do not let that person into your home.
Alonzo said that what was most effective for her was self-love.
“Once you decide to love yourself and live for yourself, not for another person, doon papasok ang growth, ang pagpapatawad, ang acceptance (growth, forgiveness, acceptance will come),” she said.
The term “ghosting” became a trending topic last year after Alonzo opened up on her breakup with Anderson. She said that he did not bother to break up with her — he simply “started not talking to me.”
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