Judy Ann Santos admits ‘rebellious’ phase when she was younger: ‘Pakawala ako’
Judy Ann Santos. Image: screengrab from YouTube/GMA Network
Judy Ann Santos confessed that she came to a point that she lost interest in everything amid her showbiz success, and turned to drinking to express her frustrations.
The veteran actress revealed this as she recalled the high points of her career, which she said also caused the low points of her life, in an interview for “Fast Talk with Boy Abunda” on Tuesday, June 13.
“Dumating ako sa point na I was doing three movies and two shows in one year, all at the same time. Dumadating na ako sa set na kinailangan ko na tanungin ‘yung team ko na, ‘Sino nga ako dito? Sinong direktor natin?'” she recalled. “Nawawala na ako sa sarili ko.”
(There was a point when I was doing three movies and two shows in one year, all at the same time. I would arrive at the set and ask my team, “Who am I in this project? Who is the director?” I was losing myself.)
“Then slowly, nawawalan na ako ng gana sa buhay, nalulungkot na ako. Wala na akong mapagkatiwalaan,” she continued. “Parang at that point, you feel everybody was just there because you’re you pero wala ka talagang tunay na kaibigan.”
(Then slowly, I lost interest in life and felt sad. I couldn’t trust anyone anymore. At that point, you feel everybody was just there because you’re you, but you actually have no real friends.)
Santos was then asked if she had a rebellious phase, which she admitted. She added that there were no traces of her being such because there was no social media at the time.
“Sa pagkakataong ito, pwede kong sabihin na ‘yung pagsimula ko ng teenage years na umiinom ako, lumalabas at naglalasing ako, I think ‘yun ‘yung rebellious point ko. Talagang pakawala ako,” she revealed, but clarified that she never caused a scene in the public.
(At this point, I can say that my rebellious stage was my early teenage years when I would go out and get drunk. I was really out of control.)
“Inaallow ko ‘yung sarili ko na kailangan kong pakawalan itong galit na ito, itong frustrations na ito kasi otherwise may maaapektuhan na akong tao, may maaapektuhan na akong trabaho and they don’t deserve na maapektuhan sa kung ano ‘yung pinagdadaanan ko,” she said.
(I allowed myself to release my anger and frustrations because if I did not, it would affect other people, my job, and they don’t deserve to be involved with what I am going through.)
Santos underscored the importance of being “genuinely aware” of one’s goals in order to overcome a slump.
“If you don’t know how to balance things and hindi mo na alam kung paano mo i-identify ‘yung truth sa fiction and sa career and whatever else in between, mawawala ka talaga. Makakain ka ng mundong ‘to nang buhay na buhay,” she stated.
(If you don’t know how to balance things and how to identify truth from fiction in your career and whatever else in between, you will really be lost. This world will eat you up alive.)
The actress then credited her mom for raising her into a person filled with gratitude, noting that it kept her grounded amid the roaring success.
Open to working with GMA, Claudine
During the interview, Santos spoke about her good relationship with GMA and said that she is open to having projects with the network. However, she clarified that she still prioritizes allotting most of her time to her family and that she cannot commit to a long-term TV series.
“I’ve been working the past decades of my life and buong buhay ko binigay ko dito (I have given all my life for this). Now that God has given me a very beautiful family that I’ve prayed and wished for, hindi pwedeng may makaligtaan ako (I cannot miss anything),” she said. “I want to be there with them at every important moment and memory of their lives.”
Abunda also brought up the interview he had with Claudine Barretto, in which the actress revealed that working with Santos has always been on her bucket list. Santos then said that she is eager as well to be in the same project with Barretto.
“Na-teary eye ako nang slight kasi tama si Claudine. We never really had a chance to be close nung bata kami kasi Star Magic siya and I have Tito Alfie (Lorenzo) with me, and palagi kaming nakatapat sa isa’t isa,” Santos recalled.
(I am slightly teary-eyed because Claudine is right. We never really had a chance to be close when we were younger because she was with Star Magic and I was with Tito Alfie Lorenzo, and because we were always seen as rivals.)
“A project with Claudine? Of course, why not? Hindi lang naman dahil sa hinihingi ng tao (Not just because the public wants it) but I think it would be a very interesting project,” she added. “For me and Claudine to do a project, this is, I think, the very perfect moment because kalmado at payapa ang kapiligiran (everything is calm and peaceful).”
Santos then disclosed how she felt she does not matter in the showbiz industry anymore, but was proven wrong by the support she has been receiving from the public.
When asked what she still wants to achieve in her life, Santos answered, “I just want to see my kids as professionals or kung ano man ‘yung gusto nilang marating (whatever they want to be) when they’re adults already… and I want to experience retirement with my husband, and see the world.” /ra
