Only hunks will do

ZSA ZSA and Dolphy inquirer photo

Showbiz Insider requires that only handsome hunks be assigned to him.

On the set of SI’s projects, only cute cameramen, utility men and other production workers can hope to be hired.

As luck would have it, management made the mistake of sending Chubby Staffer to work in one of SI’s projects.

Just one look at the pleasantly plump one and SI threw a diva tantrum, demanding a gym-fit replacement.

Offended, CS complained to authorities and SI was sharply reprimanded.

All-cutie team

SI’s case is reminiscent of Wealthy Benefactor’s. Closeted Interviewer was invited to sit down with WB at the latter’s well-appointed office.

CI noticed that the staff in WB’s inner sanctum consisted of gorgeous males. CI was very distracted, indeed.

Past imperfect

KARYLLE: Great BF

While Channing Tatum doesn’t seem to mind gabbing about his former job as “exotic” dancer, local stars tend to be secretive about their sordid past.

Indie Actor was a macho dancer before he was discovered and launched in an internationally acclaimed film.

Is this the reason why IA avoids encounters with the press like the plague?

Veteran Actor also worked in a gay bar, as guest relations officer. Of course, VA made it a point to erase this bit of info in his resumé.

After all, he has gone a long way from that seedy club—and was even elected to public office once.

Bad director

Acclaimed Performer was shocked by the behavior of an international production’s Tyrannical Director.

ARA MINA: Fingers crossed

TD was a slave driver, according to a spy: “Once TD refused to give cast and crew a meal break, until the ‘take’ was just perfect. By the time we were allowed to eat, the food was spoiled.”

Not a few staffers quit because of TD’s hissy fits.

TD was also guilty of child abuse—bullying an under-aged co-star so that the kid would perform better.

How tweet it is

ABS-CBN discovery Neri Naig met and fell in love with rocker Chito Miranda of Parokya ni Edgar on the social networking site Twitter.

“We started exchanging messages on Twitter,” she recalled. “Then we decided to meet.”

Neri said she was comfortable about the eyeball because  Angel Locsin was a common friend. Neri may have turned to Angel, in fact, to learn some things about her new Tweetheart.

Neri is reluctant to let her beau watch her latest film, Alou Adlawan’s Cinemalaya entry, “Ang Katiwala.” She explained: “I play a slum dweller in the film and my character has a dirty mouth. But I’m proud that I did it. I love indie movies because I get to play roles that I don’t get in the mainstream.”

IZA CALZADO: A lot to prove

Jocks cleanup

Popular personalities from the top FM stations will be today’s anchors for the 2012 Manila Bay Cleanup Run, which will be joined by entertainers and other celebrities.

Employees and Operation Tulong volunteers from dzRH— flagship station of Manila Broadcasting Company, which is organizing the event, will be in full force as the nation’s oldest network marks its 73rd anniversary.

Simultaneously, dzRH will mount a nationwide medical-dental mission in 30 cities across the country, plus one at the Star City Complex.

The run is expected to draw about 5,000 participants.

Top of Bandera

PIA Guanio: No turning back

The top show biz news in the Inquirer tabloid Bandera (and why we are moved if we are moved):

Iza Calzado: Hanggang sa kamatayan, may patutunayan ako! (Hopefully by then wala na.)

Pagkatapos tawaging bayaran ang show biz press; ‘Ang sarap sungalngalin ng bibig ni Cristine Reyes,’ say ni Jobert Sucaldito sa kanyang column (Huwag naman. Someone else may find that mouth useful.)

Sharon Cuneta aagawin daw ang korona ni Kris Aquino (Bakit, reyna ba si Kris?)

Feeling superstar na kaya hindi na ma-reach; Xian Lim inisnab daw ang reporter ng ABS- CBN. (Baka naman hindi nakita. Naman.)

Ara sa bagong BF: Sana kami na talaga! (Sana nga!)

Rachelle Ann Go naloloka sa ‘landian’ nina Aljur at Kylie (Just grab a snack and watch!)

Jean Garcia namaga ang mukha sa sampal ni Agot Isidro (Agot isn’t a weakling I guess. Must be working out.)

Kim Chiu: Sobrang totoong tao po si  Ate Vi (And that’s why millions love her.)

Binoe laging binibigyan ng warning si Mariel (Hindi lang asawa, censor pa!)

Karylle gumanda sa piling ng dyowa (At bakit hindi? Edukado, guwapo, talented … go!)

KC-Piolo nag-isnaban; Kristine Hermosa nag-inarte dahil sa gown (One, grow up na please. Two, if you hate it, don’t wear it.)

Juday kay Sarah: ’Di lang puro awit, masarap din ang magmahal! (Thank you! Can someone please tell Sarah’s mother that?)

Pia Guanio ayaw nang pabalikin ng mga dabarkads sa  ‘Eat Bulaga’ (Why naman?)

Amalia Fuentes uubusin ang pera para ‘mapatumba’ ang kaaway (Tita, it’s not worth it.)

Gerald: 6 months na akong nanliligaw kay Sarah! (Dude, if you like her, don’t complain. It may take years. And you’re courting the wrong girl. Court the mom.)

Noong panahong down na down siya; Maricar Reyes: Niyakap ako ni Tito Dolphy! (Awwwwwww …)

Zsa Zsa unang ibinalita kay Kris na patay na si Pidol (Friends and family will usually hear it first.)

Zsa Zsa: Sinong hindi mapapaibig kay Dolphy? (True.)

Dawn: Ayoko talagang makipaghalikan kay Goma (E di huwag.)

Zsa Zsa sinunod lahat ng huling habilin ni Dolphy (Like a good wife would.)

Isang matanda ang nagpatotoo sa kanyang kabaitan; Dolphy P10,000 kung magbigay ng limos sa pulubi sa Baclaran (Now that is generous!)