Adding more shlock to the shock

AMBER Heard and Johnny Depp (right) AP

The year 2016 is turning out to be an annus horribilis for the heretofore high-flying star, Johnny Depp. The first big blow in his recent one-two knockout punch was his relatively new wife’s sudden decision to divorce him!

His aggrieved spouse, Amber Heard, who’s many years younger, used to rave about him as a lover and husband, so her newly negative tone has shocked their mutual friends.

The Depp couple’s problems began months ago, when their pet dogs ran afoul of Australia’s quarantine laws, and their owners were penalized for their blithe ignorance or refusal to take Australia’s quarantine regulations seriously.

The whole deal ended up very badly for the Depps, when they were forced by the threat of more stringent penalties to issue a public apology and admit their cavalier disdain for following rules.

That abject apology ended up making it even worse for them, because they looked so vague and insincere when they taped it.

They were thus roundly spoofed by many comedians and talk-show hosts, and their fans cringed in empathetic embarrassment.

After that debacle, Johnny and Amber tried to pick up the pieces (and their controversial pups) and move on, but the bloom was clearly off the rose in their marriage.

Cold feet

It didn’t help that some insiders began to retroactively whisper that, even before they got married, Amber had gotten “cold feet” about the huge decision she was making to marry a much older man.

On hindsight, she should have listened to her “inner voice”—but she didn’t, so she’s getting retroactively rapped for her mistake.

Well, that’s all-knowing Monday-morning quarterbacking because, at the time, it looked like she had everything to gain from opting to become Mrs. Amber Depp.

After all, the actor was universally famous and acclaimed, and was worth a very cool and hot $400 million—so it was easy to blame her premarital doubts on “wedding day jitters.”

But she did finally decide to call the whole thing off and file for divorce last week—and the details of the case she filed against Johnny have added more shlock to the shock, because they’re really disturbing:

Abuse

Amber wailed that Johnny had been psychologically, verbally and physically abusive and—contrary to their lovey-dovey poses just weeks ago—made her life absolutely miserable.

Cynical observers opine that much of the rancor on Amber’s part is par for the divorce course, and is intended to make the public sympathetic to her side in the split-up.

Even more “profitably,” it could make her end up with a much bigger slice of their multimillion dollar financial pie—hence the hyped-up histrionics?

As if these low blows weren’t enough, Johnny’s new cinematic starrer, “Alice Through the Looking Glass,” has turned out to be a disappointingly weak nonperformer at the box office. When it rains, it pours—and floods!