(From left) Anthony Jennings, Bryce Eusebio, Daniela Stranner, Princess Aliyah, Xyriel Manabat, Nikko Natividad, Ashley Sarmiento, Marco Masa, and Pepe Herrera. GRAPHICS: Samuel Yap
Valentine’s Day is not just meant for people in happy relationships and situation-ships. It’s also a day for singles and the heartbroken — they who defy the commercialization of the occasion, and the trimmings of the day, or scoff at the apparent commercialization of the occasion, or maybe sneer at happy couples.
Now come these celebrities who have been through the wringer and emerged stronger, and are ready to share their newfound knowledge on how to deal with pain from a failed relationship.
In separate interviews with INQUIRER.net, Pepe Herrera, Xyriel Manabat, Daniela Stranner, Nikko Natividad, Bryce Eusebio, Princess Aliyah, Ashley Sarmiento, and Marco Masa believe that moving on is the best self-care hack one can do.
Xyriel Manabat
Xyriel Manabat takes the role of a supportive Ate after saying that moving on is something that shouldn’t be forced upon oneself.
“Huwag mong bigyan ang sarili mo ng time limit or ultimatum na dapat okay ka na. Kasi the more na na-disappoint ang sarili mo by not [moving on] at a certain time period, mas may frustration at depression. Mas lalong hindi ka magmo-move on,” she said.
(Don’t give yourself a time limit or ultimatum that you need to be okay. The more you disappoint yourself by not moving on at a certain period, you’ll be more frustrated and depressed. You’ll have a harder time moving on.)
Manabat said it’s better to set one’s sight on growing as an individual rather than being eager to move forward. “Mas madadagdagan lang ‘yung pain dahil sobrang eager at forceful mo. Hindi siya helpful. Hindi magiging smooth ang pag-move on. Wag mong i-aim mag-move on. Aim mong mag-grow,” he said.
(The pain will double if you’re too eager or too forceful. It’s not helpful at all. Moving on won’t be smooth for you. Don’t aim to move on. Aim to grow.)
Pepe Herrera
Pepe Herrera, on the other hand, said “embracing” heartache helps in getting in touch with feelings of pain, as well as keeping one busy doing other things.
“Embrace mo lang. Embrace mo lang ‘yung heartache and current state mo. If you want to talk and spend time with people, or whatever will help you release. Sulat ka. Kumanta ka. Maglakad ka. Magtravel ka. Mag-swimming ka. Basta patuloy lang,” he said.
(Embrace the pain. Embrace the heartache and your current state. If you want to talk and spend time with people, or whatever will help you release. Write. Sing. Walk. Travel. Swim. Just keep on going.)
Anthony Jennings
Anthony Jennings subscribes to the idea that Valentine’s Day is meant for people who are “happy.”
“Maghanap ka ng bagay na paglilibangan mo para hindi ka mag-isip (Look for something that will keep you busy so you wouldn’t think too much),” he said.
Daniela Stranner
Daniela Stranner’s tip is to relish in pain until one can’t feel it anymore. She also noted that opting to avoid the pain instead of facing it will only hinder the process of moving forward.
“Namnamin mo ang pain. Namnamin mo ang pain until you can’t feel it anymore. Wag mong ibalewala. Don’t avoid it. Because if you do, it’s still going to be there,” she said. “Kung hindi mo nanamnamin, you’re going to be numb. Self-love too. Focus on yourself. Learn how to love yourself first before you start moving on to someone else para it’s fair.”
(Relish in the pain. Relish the pain until you can’t feel it anymore. Don’t ignore it. Don’t avoid it. Because if you do, it’s still going to be there. If you can’t savor the pain, you’re going to be numb. Self-love too. Focus on yourself. Learn how to love yourself first before you start moving on to someone else so it would be fair to them.)
Nikko Natividad
Nikko Natividad said keeping yourself busy and enjoying time with friends help in moving on. “Lumabas ka. Mamasyal ka. Kailangan mo kasing malibang. Kapag nagkukulong ka, malulungkot ka. May power din ang may kaibigan [para tulungan ka]. Kailangan mo ng totoong kaibigan,” he said.
(Go out. Stroll around. You have to keep yourself busy. If you shut yourself off, you’ll be sadder. There’s power in having friends to help you. You need true friends.)
Bryce Eusebio
Rising star Bryce Eusebio, who confessed his love for K-pop girl group NewJeans during the interview, said “focusing” on people who “love you” is what helps in moving on.
“Okay lang na hindi mo kailangang mag-open up sa Mommy and Daddy mo, kahit humugot ka lang sa kanila [ng strength]. Mahirap na puro sadness lang na nakikita mo. Always look at the brighter things in life,” he said. “Humanap ka ng mga bagay na paghuhugutan mo — mag-travel ka, talk to your friends and people. Find new hobbies, and learn new things. Feed your soul and feed your mind.”
(It’s okay if you can’t open up to your Mommy or Daddy. Just use them to be stronger. It’s hard if you see nothing but sadness. Always look at the brighter things in life. Find hobbies that make you stronger — travel, talk to your friends and people. Find new and learn new things. Feed your soul and feed your mind.)
Princess Aliyah
Princess Aliyah said “heartbreak happens for a reason” and the right person will come at the right time.
“Baka hindi talaga kayo bagay and may dadating na mas better para sa’yo (Maybe you’re not a good fit. Someone better will come.)
Ashley Sarmiento
Ashley Sarmiento also believed that distancing yourself from heartbreak would add more pain, instead of healing from pain.
“Mahirap mag-move on so you have to take your time na i-process ang nararamdaman mo. Kailangan mong i-accept na nasasaktan ka,” she said. “Kapag pinilit mo ang sarili mong lumayo sa heartbreak, babalik at babalik ‘yan. Accept ‘yung nangyari is the best answer to that. Consult your friends too.”
(It’s hard to move on so you have to take your time to process your emotions. You have to accept that you’re hurt. If you force to distance yourself from heartbreak, it will come back to bite you. Accepting what happened is the best answer. Consult your friends too.)
Marco Masa
Marco Masa opted to see heartbreak as a “motivation” to “better yourself” for the better.
“Para ‘yun sa sarili mo (It’s for yourself). I believe that everything happens for a reason so ang advice ko is to always be positive and always pray to God,” he continued.