Vice Ganda throws green jokes, wacky answers in online Q&A
Vice Ganda sure knows how to bring the laughs in just about any medium.
The comedian went unfiltered yesterday on Instagram Stories as he took questions from fans out of boredom.
From insults to love advice, Vice managed to put his humorous — and at times, naughty — spin on just about any question.
“Ganda ka (You think you’re pretty)?” one asked. Unfazed by the barb, Vice snapped a selfie and said, “Kahapon pa! Abangan mo bukas ulit (Since yesterday! Catch it again tomorrow)!”
When one wondered why his headband was so large, he answered, “Kasi kung maliit yun e di band aid na yun (If it were small, it would just be a band-aid)!”
Some tried to get answers about his love life, but Vice simply teased back. “Parang may nagpapakilig ngayon sayo (It seems someone is making you happy)!” one observed.
“Meron po. Yung bidet (There is. The bidet)!” replied Vice.
For a similar question, he joked that a porn site also entertains him.
And for those wondering if the comedian is still a virgin, Vice answered, “Not yet!”
But at times, he just wasn’t having any of it. One asked if he were single and how long he has been that way.
“Single na nga, pinabilang mo pa kung gano katagal! P*kyu ka din e!” he humorously snapped.
(You’re saying I’m single then you’re making me count for how long it’s been! F*ck you too!)
He also couldn’t help but snap back at someone who asked the loaded question, “Differentiate depression and just worrying.”
“Girl may wifi ka naman kesa naghaharot ka sa IG ba’t di ka mag-Google?”
(Girl you have Wi-Fi. Instead of messing around on Instagram why don’t you Google it?)
Personal questions and double entendres were nothing to Vice.
“Tuli ka na ba Ate Bays (Are you circumcised, Ate Vice)?” he was asked. His answer, “Baka next year po. Busy pa e (Maybe next year. I’m still busy).”
“Itlog ng pugo or itlog ng pogi (Quail egg or a handsome man’s egg)?” was another such question.
Vice chose quail’s egg: “Kasi nung binalatan ko ung itlog di naman nagalit yung may pugo. Samantalang ung itlog ng pogi nung binalatan ko yung itlog nagwala ang pogi.”
(When I peeled the quail’s egg, the one with the quail didn’t get angry. But when I peeled the handsome man’s egg, he went wild.)
“Magbigay ng mabahong pagkain (Give an example of smelly food),” one posed. His answer, “Singit ng jowang pagod (A tired boyfriend’s groin).”
“Do (sic) kiki love you?” asked one, referring to Drake’s hit song “In My Feelings”.
“I don’t care! I never like (sic) k*ki anyway!” Vice said, referring to a slang term for vagina.
Keep it real, Vice! JB
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