Incestuous proposal will leave major star incensed

Whoever concocted this brilliant idea should be burned at the stake.

Stunning Beauty’s stint in the biz is heading nowhere, really.

What better way to jump-start a flat-lining career than to pair up SB with unlikely screen partners.

Someone came up with a possible May-December team-up between SB and Graying Lothario … or maybe with Indefatigable Playboy.

Eeewww!

GL and IP are not only old enough for father roles, the guys were once linked to someone close to SB.

Major Star, SB’s kin, would certainly go berserk upon hearing the “incestuous” proposal.

What do they expect?

Ocean of obscurity

Perky Starlet befriended Industry Insider in order to get close to Visiting Hunk.

After meeting VH, PS unceremoniously dumped II.

As luck would’ve it, PS is now drowning in an ocean of obscurity and needs II’s help for a new venture.

Can’t really blame II for not throwing PS a lifesaver this time.

After all, PS’ last project floundered miserably and II wants to steer clear of bad vibes.

Dogged determination

Gotta hand it to Persistent Veteran. PV’s earlier attempt to solicit millions from Moneyed Mogul failed big time.

PV was hoping to use the cash to save Doomed Venture. MM refused to part with a single centavo.

Undaunted, PV turned to MM’s Rich Relative as an alternative benefactor. RR, however, could smell a disaster a mile away.

Again, PV went home empty-handed.

As for DV? MM and RR’s prediction came true.

Courting disaster

Karma is relentless in pursuing Troubled Insider.

After a string of bad decisions, TI now has to contend with yet another brewing debacle.

Seasoned Personality is contemplating on taking TI and company to court.

SP is now gathering the necessary paperwork for the battle royale.

Fasten your seatbelts; this will be a bumpy ride.

Afraid!

Drunken mistress

From the Inquirer tabloid Bandera:

Sultry Starlet started early.

SS, who took up drinking as a teener, can now down bottles of beer and wine—as if guzzling mineral water.

SS’ tummy is apparently made of steel.

SS can out-drink male buddies who end up waving the white flag after each spirited session.

As such, SS has earned the moniker, “Tomador Queen,” among pals.

Drunken mistress, anyone?

Top of show biz news

For those who missed last weekend’s show biz news on TV. (And why we are moved, if we are moved.)

Zsa Zsa Padilla, asked if she and Conrad Onglao have already gotten a marriage license:  “Not yet … I made  a vow to keep my private life private now.” (Define private.)

Matteo Guidicelli  on working with Chito Roño in a new movie: “Sabi nila nakakatakot daw si Direk Chito. I’ve yet to experience that.” (Well, he directed all those horror flicks.)

Erich Gonzales on her breakup with Daniel Matsunaga: “Walang third party … I deleted the photos, I unfollowed them. ” (Unfriend, too?)

Erich, asked if the breakup was caused by money woes: “Ayoko pong mag-detalye tungkol diyan. I just want to move on.” (Moving on…)

Erich, asked if it’s possible that she and Daniel could still be friends: “Sa nararamdaman ko ngayon, hindi po.” (So what happened to moving on?)

Boyband PH member Joao Constancia on being mobbed by fans: “I lost my earrings. They were grabbing our shirts. It was crazy … but fun!” (Welcome to show biz.)

John Lloyd Cruz

John Lloyd Cruz, asked about his Valentine’s Day: “Wala …  Hindi lang naman siguro ginawa ang Valentine’s Day para sa may jowa.” (Para rin sa mga negosyante.)

Heart Evangelista

Heart Evangelista on her V-Day: “Simple lunch lang.” (Simply fabulous?)

Heart on family plans: “In December, I will sincerely, seriously try to have a baby.” (Sincerely na , seriously pa!)

Marian Rivera

Marian Rivera says of her new primetime series: “Magugustuhan ’to ng mga tsikiting.” (Cartoons?)

 TV Patrol, 24 Oras

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