Hard killers, treatable doctors, and other boob-tube booboos
Host: Why did you stop the traffic on the bridge leading to your town?
Guest: Because it’s weak—the recent disaster is threatening the bone structure of the bridge!
(Excuse me, are you talking about a bridge—or a nose bridge?)
* * *
Host: What will happen now to Arroyo’s plan to go abroad for medical help?
Guest: Well, they will now have to elevate the petition to the Court of Supremes!
(—With Diana Ross as “Supreme” Justice—?!)
* * *
Host: What is your timetable for the resolution of the Revilla murder case?
Guest: Mabilis na ‘yan, ‘pag umamin na ang mga hard killers.
(They’re that tough, huh?)
* * *
Host: What are the chances of more landslides in your province?
Guest: If it keeps raining and wet, there’s more, because it’s very slide!
(Ah, your “logic” is—slippery!)
* * *
Host: Your mission is to help what group in particular?
Guest: Our organization is to help our native people, who belong to indigenous species!
(Uh, whatever does that mean—?)
* * *
Reporter: Do you think our candidate has a good chance in the beauty pageant? Do you think Miss Philippines will win?
Interviewee: For me, we are very pride of our very potential candidate!
(Translation: Yes, I think she will!)
* * *
Host: Does Gloria Arroyo really have to go abroad to get well?
Guest: No need! There are many treatable doctors right here in the Philippines!
(“Treatable doctors?” —Baliktad yata…)
Supporters
Host: —Is that right? If so, why are her supporters insisting that she should go abroad?
Guest: Well, as usual, they are misleading the facts!
(—Baliktad na naman!)
* * *
Host: Who won in the Miss World contest?
Cohost: Miss Valenzuela—first runner-up lang si Miss Philippines.
(Valenzuela? Venezuela? —Big difference!)
* * *
Host: What is your plan for winning the challenge?
Guest: We will try to be the fastest and also the best—it will serve as a double porpoise!
(—Oh, as in twin turtles!)
* * *
Host: What will you do if there’s a fire in your neighborhood?
Guest: I will right away get a balde and throw a tubig!
(No comment!)
