Jilted beauty plots sweet revenge vs playboy ex

Here’s a poignant Valentine story.

Years ago, Glamorous Beauty’s career was going nowhere—like her love life, which was in limbo as well.

GB had the misfortune of falling for Handsome Playboy.

HP, however, had no use for GB in the publicity department. After all, GB was just a struggling wannabe like him.

HP dumped GB—with cruel dispatch.

Fast-forward to the here and now. GB attained her long-cherished dream.

Rich and famous, GB can now plot her sweet revenge against HP. For starters, GB can ignore HP, who is desperately linking himself to her for a few minutes of instant celebrity.

Tsk. Tsk.

Video scandal epidemic

Again, Show Town is deluged with a never-ending series of sex video scandals involving cute heartthrobs.

After Joross Gamboa and Jeric Gonzales whose alleged “solo” videos went viral, more and more names are being added to the scorching hot list as we speak. It’s a virtual epidemic.

In this raging controversy, Talented Personality, however, got the “short” end of the stick.

TP is now being criticized for supposed “deficiencies.”

Turned out, TP is a member of the “duty-free” club.

Ouch.

Standing ovation

Another sex-scandal protagonist, Charming Newbie, however, impressed not a few netizens with his, ahem, ample gifts.

CN is quite prodigious…where it counts, say kibitzers.

A spy asserts that CN deserves a “standing ovation” for his performance. A mole exclaims: “Encore! Encore!”

Alas, CN’s purported “show-and-tell” video vanished…without a trace in cyberspace.

CN’s admirers can only Google in vain.

Mr. Right

After years of kissing frogs, Sultry Celebrity finally found her prince.

SC is now blissfully engaged.

Unlike the first time, SC proudly introduced her fiancé to family and friends.

Last time she got involved in a similarly serious affair, her purportedly Shy Sweetheart remained incognito—until they eventually broke up.

This time, SC not only has the ring…but snapshots of her future groom as well.

Something fishy

From the Inquirer tabloid Bandera:

Rumor-mongers are having a field day, spreading unsavory gossip about Seasoned Personality.

Coworkers are envious of SP, who can be too smart-alecky for her own good.

Enemies claim SP suffers from a bad case of dragon breath. Constant dieting has made SP’s every utterance unbearable, they insist.

They compare the stench to rotting fish.

Jealousy rears its ugly head.

Top of the tabloids

This week’s top show biz news in the  Inquirer tabloid Bandera (and why we are moved, if we are moved):

Ciara Sotto kinasuhan ang asawa, reresbak sa mistress. (Hell hath no fury…)

Ayon sa feng shui expert: Luis Manzano at Angel Locsin magbabalikan; Nadine Lustre, James Reid, suwerte sa love life. (Alam ba ni Lotus Feet ’yan?)

Kris Aquino walang bonggang birthday party today; talk show nila ni Anthony Taberna tuloy na. (See above comment about Lotus Feet.)

Iya Villania, Drew Arellano sa New Zealand gagawa ng baby. (Made in Hobbit Land?)

Jodi Sta. Maria nakipag-ayos na kay Pampi Lacson. (Moving on…)