Weirdest, wackiest shows on the boob tube

“BRIDALPLASTY” featured brides-to-be who competed for free cosmetic enhancements.

After we came out with our initial compilation of weirdest TV shows ever produced, like-minded TV buffs have weighed in to add their own loopy and far-out favorites:

Remember “Bridalplasty”? That US show offered brides-to-be a free cosmetic-surgery makeover to make them look really fab on their wedding day! Weekly winners got “introductory” procedures like nose jobs, and the big winner was given the whole works—a transformation so complete that her groom didn’t recognize her on their wedding day!

In “Monkey on Your Back,” contestants performed a series of tasks and challenges—while having to contend with and control a monkey tied to each of them at all times! Naturally, the chimps got in on the act, and all hectic heck broke loose!

“Whisker Wars” invited hirsute male viewers with amazing growths of carefully-nurtured facial hair to compete for big prizes! The competition was held in Norway, where they apparently think that over-achieving whiskers are works of art in their own right!

Trouble was, after the wondrous whiskers were fully grown, combed and displayed, not much else was going on. So, the “weird whiskers” competition and its viewers eventually expired—from boredom!

On Russian TV, an ostensibly generous game show offered a free car to each of its contestants. Trouble was, the lavish gift had a “hook” to it:

After the “lucky” contestant drove home in it, the show reported it to the cops—as a stolen car! As a result, the contestant had to successfully avoid the pursuing officers for at least 35 minutes before being allowed to keep the car permanently!

“Armed and Famous” tried unsuccessfully to combine hot action with star value, by getting celebrities to agree to undergo a crash training course as cops, then were sent out to catch criminals and keep the peace! Unfortunately, the stars turned out to be awkward and phlegmatic cops, and La Toya Jackson even ended up getting sued when she ransacked the wrong house!

Over in Japan, “Don’t Laugh” is a game show that has only one rule: If you laugh, you lose. To push contestants past their giggling point, they’re subjected to all sorts of funny sights and sounds—and only the really stoic or emotionally benumbed types go home victorious!

Come to think of it, we thought up a similar game many years ago for an anniversary special of “Two for the Road”: We had top comedians try to make Elvira Manahan laugh—and most of them failed!

The only one who succeeded was the late Bert Marcelo: He whispered to the determinedly grim and unsmiling Elvira, “If you keep controlling your giggles, lolobo ang ilong mo!” That did it—Elvira burst out in her loudest laugh—and Bert was so pleased with himself. Imagine, he’d beaten the great, for the first time determinedly non-laughing Elvira at her own deadpan game!