Hollywood: Up close and personal with the Nepales tandem
Janet and Ruben Nepales. PHOTO BY ELTON LUGAY
LOS ANGELES, California—Here’s a love story from one of the community’s perhaps most-followed Filipino couples. They call each other “tweet” but to friends and colleagues, they are the Filiipino version of Hollywood sweethearts.
For Janet Nepales, her husband, Ruben, is “the organizer.” She, on the other hand, is his “crazy charming diva.” The couple shared their love story during separate interviews held last month in their cozy New York-style apartment in downtown Los Angeles.
Janet confessed that Ruben has a detailed, organized mind. “He thinks about everything ahead of time. If you need a personal assistant who can remember everything and organize everything for you, he would be perfect.”
Ruben loves his wife’s zest for life. “She’s lovely, smart, funny and crazy,” he said. “She’s full of energy and enthusiasm, the life of any party. Not to mention she’s sexy and sensuous. And a good dancer. But what most people don’t see is that she’s a dedicated mother on top of all these qualities.”
Janet values her husband’s affection. “He is very romantic, loving and caring to me and the girls. He is a great husband and father. I couldn’t ask for a better husband and father to my children. Most important, he takes me for what I am – ‘Sisa’ and all.”
Both share the same passion and career in writing. The Nepales tandem is the first and only Filipino members to break into the highly competitive Hollywood Foreign Press Association that organizes the annual Golden Globe Awards. Ruben made history when he became the first Asian to become chairman of the board in 2013.
The two met through The Flame, the journal of the faculty of arts and letters of the University of Santo Tomas (UST). They were both on the staff.
“We met at UST where we were schoolmates,” said Janet. “He was ahead of me by two years and he was taking up Mass Communications, while I was taking up Journalism.”
Ruben has vivid memories of those days. Janet was the lovely, smiling girl with the Farrah Fawcett hairdo, wearing Arts and Letters’ white top-blue skirt uniform, waiting for the bus with her beloved grandmother on España Boulevard after having snacks at Little Quiapo restaurant. He would watch them while waiting for his own bus to go home.
“We had met earlier as fellow staff writers of The Flame. When the staff photo was taken, I stood next to Janet. I summoned guts and put my arm over her shoulder. Janet told me later that she thought I was presko (fresh) for doing that. Janet also said later that she was not attracted to me at all in college. I was a geek – I looked nerdy and very thin. She was right.”
The couple lost contact after college but met again when Ruben was working as the PR man of WEA Records and Janet was a reporter at The Times Journal.
Janet, who was not impressed with Ruben in college, said the skinny and nerdy-looking Ruben looked more handsome. “I thought he dressed up nicely too. He was also always such a gentleman.”
“Yes, when she saw me after college, she thought, hmm… We started dating after that.”
How was the first date like?
“He invited me to the press conference of Paul Williams where we met again for the first time after college. We were flirting and talking during the press con when Paul suddenly said, ‘If only some people would stop talking.’ We didn’t realize our mics were on and everybody could hear our conversation. It was embarrassing but we both had a good laugh after.
“Then he invited me to attend the Paul Williams concert and I was impressed that we sat in the front row.”
Ruben’s recollection of their first date is somewhat different.
“I believe one of our first dates was at the Spindle, a disco in Quezon City which went from being a temple of revelry, dancing and ‘passion shows’ to a temple of worship. Yes, it’s almost hard to believe that our disco hangout was transformed into a Catholic parish church. To this day, Janet breaks into a meaningful smile when she remembers our first slow dance to Lionel Richie’s ‘Still’. I wonder why.”
Instinctively, both knew they had met their match.
The adorable Miss Piggy of The Muppets played an important role in their eventual union.
“Janet adores Miss Piggy,” said Ruben. “Does that make me Kermit? So one day, I wrote on a publicity still of one of The Muppets’ movies that showed Miss Piggy and Kermit getting married, ‘Will you marry me?’”
“‘Will you marry me?’ Miss Piggy said yes, I mean, I said yes.”
Like any imperfect union, the couple always has something to fight about. “She is hopelessly geographically challenged,” explained Ruben.
“When our girls were growing up, they often asked Janet when she drove them to swim meets: ‘Are we lost again, Mommy?’ She’d tell them, ‘Go to sleep!’ Janet says the same thing to me when she’s the one driving. Me: ‘Tweet, you missed a turn.’ Janet: ‘Go to sleep!’”
The biggest challenge in their marriage is coping and trying to be more patient with each other.
“[It’s] nothing major, really,” said Ruben. “Sometimes our schedule is hectic, in intense environments, and there are always writing deadlines looming. We practice grace under pressure, as they say.”
Janet aims to have a healthy competition in their profession.
“Out-scooping each other since we are both journalists,” she said. “Ruben works for the number one paper and I work for the number two. That means I have to work harder. However, last year, I got the 2nd place award at the Los Angeles Press Club’s Best Columnist category. He got 3rd place in another category. It is a healthy competition. It keeps you on your toes.
“However, the truth is, his victories are my victories too. As my eldest daughter Bianca would say, ‘May the best Nepales win.’ For as long as either of us gets the scoop and not anyone else, we are happy.”
Ruben and Janet were first married in a civil ceremony and less than a year later, in a church wedding. Only a handful was around in both events, said Ruben.
Spontaneity is key to keeping the marriage alive. “I love spontaneity. We may suddenly think of something that we both enjoy doing and just do it,” Janet said.
A typical night at home means either Janet cooking “delicious dishes” or the two working on a deadline story, drinking red wine and dancing to their favorite music or reading and watching screeners that keep piling up. “We spice up our marriage by treating each other as lovers.”
Ruben adds: “This is not really a quirk but Janet likes to take care of her skin. Janet and I would be busy working on something in the house and suddenly, she would be ‘missing in action.’ I’d find her in the bathroom and ask, ‘What are you doing?’ ‘Moisturizing,’ she’d answer. I’d laugh and she’d often say, ‘Well, if you want a beautiful wife…’
On Sundays, the family hears morning mass at the Los Angeles cathedral.
Ruben loves Janet the way she is, geographically challenged and all. But Janet would want her hubby to be good at giving massages and “give them to me anywhere and anytime I need them”.
Tips for a happy marriage
Janet: “We never take each other for granted. His needs are my top priorities. I try to anticipate what he needs first so he will be comfortable. He deserves it because he works hard.
“Having humor in your relationship is very crucial. You cannot be taking things seriously all the time. You need a sense of humor to be able to laugh and enjoy life; have a fun, memorable relationship. Don’t take things personally.
“I take care of myself. Many women do not take care of themselves after they get married. If you do not feel good about yourself, that shows. You become cranky and irritable. However, if you like yourself and you are happy about yourself, that inner beauty radiates.
“Use your imagination and be creative. In other words, think outside of the bed.
“Ruben is a very romantic guy. He spoils me. As they say, ‘A happy wife equals a happy life.’ Simple but true.
“We never go to bed mad. We talk things over and settle everything before sleeping. Well, most of the time, he is too tired to argue with me already so he agrees to everything I say.
My late mother told me before I got married to Ruben to ‘be both a wife and a mistress to your husband.’ So you can just imagine what I do 24/7.”
Ruben: “From day one, we’ve been following one rule: we settle any issues or conflicts that we may be having before going to sleep. We don’t let an issue grow or bother us overnight. We settle it or at least talk about it. Express what’s bothering us. That way, we don’t sleep with negative feelings or thoughts.”
