Hammy hunk can’t fake romance

ANGELICA Panganiban taunts detractors.

Hunky actor desperately needs to take acting classes—now na.

Boisterous Director was totally dissatisfied with HA’s lackluster performance. HA couldn’t convincingly convey something as simple as infatuation with Pretty Partner. BD had to hire an acting coach for HA.

Why can’t HA feign romance? Perhaps the rumors are true: HA prefers equally good-looking actors like himself.

Lift off

Taking advantage of a long vacation from her latest project, young Neophyte Starlet went under the knife courageously, if recklessly.

Voila! She now flaunts a perkier nose and seems to believe the new look would make her career zoom up, and her love life blossom.

NS wants to go miles away from her less-than-stellar past.

Next target

Flamboyant Celeb’s enduring obsession with hunky young men has reached a new high.

AFTER crowd-drawing tours in the United States and Canada, the main cast of “Be Careful With My Heart” led by Richard Yap and Jodi Sta. Maria will hold two shows at 12 noon and 4 p.m. today at the Kallang Theater in Singapore.

After playing with sporty types, FC is eyeing Macho Newcomer, a colleague in the same studio. FC requested to have MN as guest in a coming series of shows. FC is fully aware of MN’s unsavory reputation as a “gun for hire,” a professional peddler of pleasures, before show biz beckoned.

Tour of duty

Heard on the Radio Inquirer program “Kliq Showbiz” (dzIQ 990 AM, Monday to Friday, 3 to 5 p.m.):

At the peak of her career, Lovely Starlet grew accustomed to a life of luxury. Now that her assignments have dwindled considerably, LS has had to compensate for lost income by turning tricks. Abroad.

She is very particular about her clientele, rejecting Filipino-Americans who may recognize her from TV programs and movies. Just being cautious.

Too rich to bare

Picked up from the Inquirer tabloid Bandera:

Ravishing Mom hit the jackpot with a successful project.

Before the career resurgence, there was a standing offer for RM to go sexy. RM nixed this tempting proposal repeatedly.

Well, RM has proven that she doesn’t need to bare to make big bucks. Besides, RM’s Politician Sweetheart would surely disapprove.

Top of the Bandera

The top show biz news in the Inquirer tabloid Bandera (and why we are moved if we are moved.)

Grabe raw ang ginawang pamamahiya sa “The Buzz”; Eugene binantaan ng fans ni Toni: Boykot kami sa mga proyekto mo! (Fans shouldn’t take this seriously. We have it on good authority that the two are laughing about it already.)

Pagkatapos mag-deny na kinakawawa ang empleyado; Zoren, Carmina idedemanda ng driver dahil sa kulang na pasuweldo, sa korte na lang daw magkita-kita. (Asus.)

BAMBOO more accessible now

Rumesbak sa mga nagsasabing wala na siyang magic; Pacman: ’Di pa naman ako laos! Kaya ko pang magpanalo ng laban sa boksing! (Don’t sweat it; they’re just crabs at work.)

LJ sinisi kung bakit nawalan ng trabaho sa ABS si Paulo. (Owning up is a virtue.)

Alex Medina handang ibuyangyang ang “angry bird.” (Hindi kami handang makita.)

Daniel, Kathryn “minalas,” hindi na pinasingit kina Coco, Julia at Juday. (De bele. Menemehel ke nemen ng mge fens.)

Ate Gay basta na lang tsinugi sa “Wowowillie.”(Vhakeet???)

Kung magkakaroon man daw siya ng bagong girlfriend; Coco: Puwede arborin ko na lang siya, halos lahat na kasi naibigay ko na sa show biz! (No.)

Jose, Wally nagiging halimaw, mabisang gamot sa mga problema. (Galeeng!)

Kumpirmado: Ogie Alcasid lumayas na sa GMA, soap opera ang unang proyekto sa TV5. (We can’t tell who’s happiest about this move.)

Heart inokray ng mga kapitbahay dahil sa mga palengkerang kaibigan. (As in, mga taga-palengke?)

Bea Binene walang paki kung magmukhang yaya ni Jake Vargas. (Aray!)

Ai-Ai de las Alas: Napakasarap ng feeling na lagi mong kasama ang mga anak mo! (Parang late yata, ’teh.)

Pinagsabihan ni John Lloyd na ’wag nang pumatol, pero ayaw papigil; resbak ni Angelica sa mga laitera: Kung asar sila sa mukha ko, lalo ko pa silang aasarin! (Go ka lang, girl. )

Masuwerte raw siya dahil walang kaibigang  addict; payo ni Charice sa mga kabataang artista: “Huwag gumamit ng droga.” (Dapat pa ba naman kayong pagsabihan?)

Gown ni Nancy Binay sa Sona na labas-cleavage nilait-lait. (Tsk, tsk, let’s hope hindi na-hurt ’yung cleavage.)

Claudine echoserang palaka, ’di pala totoong babalik sa ABS-CBN. (Echosera nga. Pero … palaka? )

Bamboo biglang nabura ang pagiging isnabero at suplado dahil sa “The Voice.” (Cool dude.)

EUGENE Domingo received boycott threats.

Hindi alam ni Derek, pero pinagmamasdan ko siya, sinusundan ko ang mga galaw niya! –Ipe. (Creepy, dude.)

Christian hiniwalayan ang Romanian girlfriend, in love kay Andrea Torres. (Matinik din, ha?)

Max Collins papatol na lang sa matanda kesa sa bakla. (All together, mga beki: Ouch!)

Kim Chiu ayaw talagang dyowain si Xian Lim; “Hindi big deal kung sabihin naming kami na o wala pa!” (Let us be the judge of that.)

GMA walang sama ng loob kay Ogie. (E, di kaya asar?)

Vice unti-unti nang gumagaling ang lalamunan, pero tumataba dahil sa paggamit ng steroids. (Tumataba? Hahahahaha!)

Azkals player Aly Borromeo, type dyowain ng mga bading, okey daw kahit isang gabi lang. (And the line goes around the block!)

Ryzza Mae na-shock sa regalong pink car ni Pops. (Sana totoong car?)

Kaya biglang tumanda, sagad-sagad sa pagtatrabaho; Mark Herras ginawang DOM ni Ynna Asistio; malaki ang pautang kay Nadia? (Aray!)