How ‘openness, positivity’ helped Judy Ann deal with anxiety

The Agoncillos

Different people handle anxiety differently.

Award-winning actress Judy Ann Santos said she discovered this while the entire Luzon was placed on enhanced community quarantine (ECQ) in March and their village in Alabang was put on hard lockdown because of Covid-19.

Prior to the declaration of the ECQ on March 15, Judy Ann said, “We’ve already heard from our sources about what’s going to happen, so we were able to buy supplies ahead of everyone. But when ECQ actually came, I was like, ‘What do I do now?’ I kept myself busy. I did some cooking for the frontliners. I assembled relief goods. I tried to squeeze in workout time almost every day.”

A week into the ECQ, the community that Judy Ann’s family lives in declared a hard lockdown after two residents tested positive of the virus. “We couldn’t go walking or do any outdoor activity anymore—this was important to us to sort of keep things normal,” she explained.

Judy Ann and husband, TV host-actor Ryan Agoncillo, have three kids—Yohan, 15, Lucho, 9 and Luna, 4.

“I didn’t realize what was happening to me until Rye (Ryan’s nickname) pointed it out. I kept myself busy and failed to communicate with him how I was really feeling. I thought I was OK. I thought I was taking care of everyone, but Rye noticed that I was going through something and confronted me about it,” she shared with Inquirer Entertainment.

Judy Ann said it was Ryan who made her understand what was actually happening to her. “I kept my anxiety to myself. I tried to battle fear on my own. I have never really been expressive of how I feel, unless you sit me down and actually ask me about it. When he pointed out the incidents to me, I experienced flashbacks. I realized that the way I handled the situation had a negative effect on me and on Ryan. I neglected being his wife, and also being his friend.”

Judy Ann said she slowly appreciated what Ryan did for her. “I became more open to him about my worries. We would then share jokes about our situation,” she recalled. “From the start, we’ve tried to be positive and not wallow in sadness. We can’t blame anyone for what’s happening because it’s a natural calamity. The right way to cope with it is to just stay home and take care of our kids.”

Judy Ann said it also helped that the neighborhood they belong to opted to practice “bayanihan” as a way to cope with the situation. “We took care of each other. We’ve been living here for 10 years. Now, there’s a lot of appreciation for people I didn’t know before. We would share dishes so other households would get to try something new. If one needed to call a doctor, a plumber or an air-conditioner technician, they would recommend someone immediately. Because of them, we began to appreciate life even more.”

Judy Ann Santos (right) and Ryan Agoncillo

Another realization while on lockdown, Judy Ann said, was that “one just can’t stop learning. I’m not a techie, so I had to be open to trying out things that used to scare me … [Our network bosses] know better. I’m sure they’re also exploring new things we can do to be able to come up with more content. We have to be creative. We have to adjust, to go with the flow. Kung ’di ka sasabay sa agos, mapapagod ka ng kalalangoy.”

At the time of this interview, Judy Ann wasn’t aware yet that the Inter-Guild Alliance, which is a newly formed group of film workers, has drafted a health and safety protocol for production companies that plan to resume work even while Metro Manila is still under general community quarantine and before a vaccine for Covid-19 has yet to be developed. Judy Ann, however, expected her home network, ABS-CBN, to come up with its own guidelines to protect its people once they all go back to work.

Starting June 13, Judy Ann will be seen every Saturday in the new show, “Paano Kita Mapasasalamatan.”

“This virus will be with us for a long time. It’s good that people are taking extra effort to make sure that it will be safe for us to resume working,” Judy Ann said of the newly drafted protocol. “After all, we all need to earn money to support our families. The protocol has yet to be properly laid out. Let’s not resist it. Let’s try it out first, then make necessary adjustments along the way.”

The actress added: “This is our reality now. We cannot survive by complaining all the time. Educating ourselves on how to best fight the virus is important. This was what we told our kids when we tried to explain to them what was happening. We also asked them what’s going on in their minds to encourage them to open up to us.”

Judy Ann and Ryan would engage the kids in different activities to take away their worries with being stuck at home. “Luckily, we have a lot [of space] where they can run around and play touch ball. They can also swim in our small pool. Sometimes, they help me tend to the plants.”

Only recently, Judy Ann handed Yohan, “who is into K-pop and K-drama so much,” a Korean cookbook and declared her daughter as the “chef of the night.” “We enjoyed what she cooked,” said the proud mom. “There’s that confidence and happiness that you are able to give your children when you let them be on their own.”

To keep the little ones from quarreling, Ryan has devised a game he called the “Blind Monster.” He would cover his eyes and try to catch the kids. Once he does, he would tickle them crazy, the mom reported.

“They all look forward to playing this with Rye. He told them that if they fight within the day, there will be no game before bedtime,” Judy Ann said. “Since then, we would catch them having bull sessions, talking things out. We would also see how the bigger kids would really try to be patient with Luna, who can be really makulit sometimes.”