Adjoining passengers, a blessing disguise and other boob-tube booboos
A fan trendily gushes, “The Philippines is more fun with ‘Boob-Tube Booboos,’ so please come out with another special compilation to ring 2012 in with a big bang!” Again, happy to oblige!:
Host: When will your unique tour finally kick off?
Guest: Very soon—we’re just waiting for more adjoining passengers!
(—Uh, maybe you can try inviting the people next door?)
* * *
Host: What will your new beautifying technique do for your customers, especially the mature ones?
Guests: Guaranteed, it will get rid of all insightly marks on the face and body!
(Insightly marks—you mean, pimples and warts that mean something?)
* * *
Host: Share with our viewers some tips to conserve water. —What do you suggest?
Guest: Oh, like you can turn off the shower when brushing your teeth.
(That’s great—if you brush your teeth while in the shower!)
* * *
Host: Tell us about the ways you have modified construction practices to bring down the cost.
Guest: For one, we advocate the creative use of indigent materials!
(Poor you!)
* * *
Host: What fun activities can we do while visiting your beautiful province?
Guest: Oh, so many—like, you can go hopping island!
(I’d like that—if I were a frog!)
* * *
Host: The air over our cities is so polluted. What can we do to make sure we don’t suffer from the effects of smog?
Guest: Against smog, you can inhale oxygin!
(Will you inhale with me? Toast!)
* * *
Host: Why did you join this contest?
Guest: Well, as they say, if you have a talent, why not to compete? So, may talent naman ako, so why not to compete?
(Inulit pa . . .)
* * *
Host: Idol mo ba si Tito Noli?
Guest: Opo.
Host: Kilala mo ba si Tito Noli?
Guest: Hindi po.
(Go figure!)
* * *
Host: When you lost, did you lose heart?
Guest: Of course, I’m human, But, after that, I got some even better offers, so I think it’s a blessing disguise!
(—Well, bless you!)
