All sugar, not enough spice

Sam Milby (left) and Yassi Pressman

Sam Milby’s photogenic appeal and hunky smolder don’t do much to conceal the disconnected vibe apparent in his mismatched pairing with pretty Yassi Pressman in Ivan Andrew Payawal’s “Ang Pambansang Third Wheel.”

Sam and Yassi are supposed to portray lovers, Neo Castillo and Trina Lagdameo, respectively, but the relationship that plays out onscreen looks more like that of a moody uncle and his awkward, eager-beaver niece.

The star-crossed pair’s trip to Happily Ever After gets derailed when Neo’s lovely but indecisive ex Monica (Sam Pinto) and their similarly phlegmatic son, Murphy (Alonzo Muhlach), enter the picture and introduce a melodrama fan-pandering complication.

Thespic crutch

We’ve always liked Yassi, even in films like the little-seen “Girlfriend for Hire” and the “what-the-f**k-was-that” Metro Manila Film Festival entry “Kaleidoscope World.”

But, the 22-year-old actress has to stop relying on her Alyanna Dalisay-channeling thespic crutch that makes her look like a put-upon drudge slaving for her hard-driving employer and “detached” love interest.

Yassi Pressman

Consistent “niceness” makes an actor’s performance one-dimensional, because it seldom shows what’s truly “at stake” for his or her character.

The perpetually “fragile” Yassi is all sugar, but not enough spice. To shake things up, her future performances could benefit from a dash of danger and a tinge of spite.

As for 33-year-old Sam, he looks lost—and we’d rather leave it at that.

We had high hopes for Payawal, who effectively utilized a frivolous tone and his actors’ sardonic wit to get the pertinent message of his Cinemalaya entry “I America” across—but, “Third Wheel” doesn’t have a lot of things going for its predictable progression and light and fizzy projection.

Moreover, some of the characters’ lines are more silly than “kwela.” No person in his right mind would apply for a job and say, “Do you want a piece of me?”

Another example that requires no explanation: “May kasamang t*e ang utot ko.” Eww.