Wetward direction, findlings, grave of discretion and other boob-tube booboos

Host: What makes you a good actor? Can you share secret tips with viewers who also want to learn?

Guest: It’s about honest feelings. To become good actors, they have to explode their feelings!

(Huwag—bawal na ang paputok ngayon!)

* * *

Host: How can the DQ cases against some candidates be peacefully resolved?

Guest: For permanent solution, the courts have to clearly establish the rights of the findlings!

(—The w-what?)

* **

Host: Why have you stopped going to your family’s old house in the province?

Guest: Because we found out that it has ghosts.

Host: Ghosts?

Guest: Yes, it’s a hunted house!

(And the ghosts were “hunting”—for you?)

* * *

Host: And where is the storm headed now?

Guest: The latest weather bulletin is that it’s going to the wetward direction.

(That’s no surprise—it’s a storm, right, with rain and everything?)

* * *

Host: Do you have an advocacy?

Starlet: I do. I want to help animals—but, I have no time.

(That isn’t an advocacy—that’s a fantasy!)

***

Host: Why did you file a case against (public official)?

Guest: Because, in my opinion, what he did to my relative’s case, he committed a grave of discretion!

(—Quote, unquote!)