Desperate housewife gets mistress makeover

SAM PINTO’s main asset is her bod.

Powerful personality has long been rumored to be a philanderer, resulting in the eternal suffering of his Dowdy Wife.

DW would look the other way while PP fooled around with impunity.

PP’s latest affair involved Scandalous Celeb as third party. This time around, DW decided not to take matters sitting down.

DW embarked on a major makeover campaign, shedding extra weight and ultimately going under the knife.

These days, DW looks eerily like SC in her prime.

In a strange twist of fate, it’s now SC who looks worn and wobbly.

Now that’s the perfect Mother’s Day thought.

The great raid

IS ANGEL Locsin on the warpath, to prove she’s the sexiest star in the land?

For the incessant rumors about the impending transfer of Pretty Starlet and Seasoned Performer to a Different Channel, Influential Insider is to blame.

According to a mole, it is II who’s been raiding the talent pool of Beleaguered Studio.

Let’s just say, it’s a “personal” crusade for II, who has a very huge axe to grind against BS.

Another Major Star who’s close to SP is now being wooed by DC to make the big move as well.

Is this the reason that MS disappeared from the scene for a while—so that MS and SP could jump ship at the same time?

Gravy train

Show biz Couple struggled for years to make ends meet. Then SC found a lucrative scheme.

When a Famous Relative hit the jackpot in politics, SC hitched their wagon to the gravy train.

SC purportedly got filthy rich through several projects under FR’s patronage.

Emphasis on “filthy.”

Now, SC, like FR, is rolling in dough and has set up various business ventures all over town.

DINGDONG Dantes plays musical chairs.

Blame game

Heard on the Radyo Inquirer program “Kliq Showbiz” (dzIQ 990 AM, Monday to Friday, 3 to 5 p.m.):

Troubled Star has the habit of blaming helpers for every little thing that goes wrong in her home.

One bad day, TS, who hadn’t yet taken her meds, was convinced she had lost a precious diamond ring. She claimed she just left the jewelry beside the kitchen sink.

Dazed and confused, TS threatened poor hapless maids with dismissal and criminal prosecution.

Later, housemates realized that TS had found the missing gem in her private bathroom.

TS chose to keep mum because she didn’t want to lose face. Or whatever’s left of that shattered visage.

Real culprit

Picked up from the Inquirer tabloid Bandera:

MARIAN Rivera slugs it out with old rival for the title sultriest star.

There’s trouble in paradise.

Sweet Starlet is often portrayed as the martyr in her relationship with Cute Hunk.

Last time they quarreled, however, SS was to blame. Apparently, she flirted with Playboy Costar.

The game got hot and heavy and SS and PC were caught smooching between takes.

Although SS and PC got away with that misdemeanor, CH was deeply hurt by the resulting intrigue.

Top of the Bandera

The top show biz news in the Inquirer tabloid Bandera (and why we are moved if we are moved.)

Arnel Pineda on Charice: “Respetuhin na lang natin kung ano ang gusto niyang gawin sa buhay niya!” (Spin a win! In other words, korek!)

Charice laos na kaya “‘nagpakatomboy,” lola humingi ng tulong sa fans. (Oh yeah, like being gay is a choice. Fashion on the other hand …)

Angel hindi magpapakabog, “sinipa-sipa” si Marian; Sam katawan lang ang puhunan (Uh, go, girls?)

Kris biglang nilaglag ng kampo ni Sen. Chiz dahil kay James Yap. (As in show biz, political allegiances can be very volatile. When someone insists on straddling the two worlds, it becomes twice as … annoying. )

Gerald kay Maja: “Nandito lang ako lagi para protektahan ka!” (Kakainggit naman!)

Gretchen: “Away pamilya to, hindi dapat isapubliko … ayoko nang magsalita pa! (Good. Now go tell mom.)

Dingdong nakikipag-usap na sa ABS, balak na ring layasan ang GMA 7? (Parang musical chairs. Anuva?)

Nagpakalat ng mga hubad na larawan ni Marjorie Barretto hinahanting na. (With all due respect, is anyone interested?)

Chiz bugbog-sarado sa mga iskandalo mula nang maging girlfriend si Heart. (That certainly comes with the territory.)

Hamon ng kapatid ni Claudine: “Sige, magpa-drug test na kami, tingnan natin kung sino talaga ang adik!” (Let us know the results ha?)