Flying buses, flowing skin and other boob-tube booboos

Still in time for April Fools’ Week, here’s a fresh batch of boob-tube booboos to chase your blues away:

Host: Why are there so many musicians in your family?

Guest: Well, I guess, you know the saying—“Birds of the same feathers pluck together!”

(Uh, that’s not how that saying goes!)

* * *

Host: What do we need to do to become good public speakers like you?

Guest: A good tip is, at the start of your talk, make sure you break some jokes!

(As in, breaking something like the egg you’ve just laid?)

* * *

Host: Is this your first time to visit Manila?

Guest: Oh, no, I love Manila, I can come here every five years!

(You love us  that much, huh?)

* * *

Host: What’s your relation to (name of celebrity)?

Guest: Oh, I’m his former daughter!

(Figure that out  . . .)

* * *

Host: Why did you leave your hometown to find your fortune in Manila?

Guest: It was hard times there, and frankly, the food was getting shortage!

(Sniff, wawa you.)

* * *

Host: You’ve had so many different jobs in the course of your colorful life. —What’s your profession now?

Guest: Oh, I’m a retiring nurse.

(Figure that out—again!)

* * *

Host: When the rains come, what signs should we watch out for to keep from getting sick?

Guest: Well, it’s bad if nagkaroon ka ng parang stomach something.

(Wow, thanks for being so specific!)

* * *

Host: What’s a major problem that should be solved to fix our huge traffic mess?

Guest: First of all, there are too many buses flying Edsa!

—(No, you got it all wrong—more buses should be “flying” there!)

* * *

Host: Since unfortunately you did not win in the competition, what can you say to the winner?

Guest: Since I did not win, obviously what I think is now mute and academic!

(Oo nga naman—so, mum’s the word!)

* * *

Host: What are you looking for in the commercial models you discover?

Guest: They should have beautiful and flowing hair and skin!

(The hair part we get—but, the flowing skin?!)