Aian Lazaro bares struggle into being a trans man

Aian Lazaro during a “Transmillion” media gathering. Image: Hannah Mallorca/INQUIRER.net

If Aian Lazaro had the power to go back in time, he would have done his gender-affirming surgery earlier. Sleeping with a binder was painful for him, but he confessed that he would rather endure the pain than keep his true self under the shadows.

The content creator and “T-Talks” vodcast host, who goes by the pronouns he/him, looked back at how he struggled with being a “male trapped in a woman’s body” before he decided to undergo transition.

“Bago ako magtransition, natutulog ako nang naka-binder. Masakit siya pero mas pipiliin mong [tiisin] ang sakit, kaysa para kang may tinatago (Before transitioning, I used to sleep with a binder. It was painful but I would rather endure the pain than hide who I truly am),” he said during a “TransMillion” media gathering.

Lazaro, who is currently going through hormone replacement therapy, underwent top surgery at 33. Top surgery is a kind of procedure that alters one’s breast tissue and reshapes the chest to create a more masculine or feminine appearance, while hormone replacement therapy (HRT) initiates the change of hormones to help make someone manlier or more feminine.

“Going back, kung mayroon akong isang pwedeng balikan o itama sa top surgery ko, ito yung I would have done it sooner. Kasi, ginawa ko siya 33 years old na ako. Kung ginawa ko siya noong 24 ako, nine years ‘yun na hindi na ako nagsusuot ng binder,” he said.

(Going back, if I could go back or correct something with my top surgery, I wish I could have done it sooner. I did it when I was 33 years old. If I did it when I was 24, I wouldn’t be wearing a binder for nine years.)

Dealing with the effects of his HRT and being aware of the struggles of fellow trans men led him to launch the “TransMillion” initiative with the help of SB Clinic’s Dr. John Paul Pareja, in hopes of empowering fellow trans men so that they can transition more safely. The winner will receive P1 million in surgical procedures, although consolation prizes will be awarded as well.

According to Lazaro and Dr. Pareja, the crucial factor of the campaign will be narrowed down to six candidates, with their own stories of their lives as trans men. Each candidate is free to submit their own coming-out story, prompting Lazaro to reveal that he also received photos of candidates showing why they wanted to transition in the first place.

Aian Lazaro and Dr. John Paul Pareja during a media gathering. Image: Hannah Mallorca/INQUIRER.net

Touching on the topic of gender transition surgery, Dr. Pareja said “psychological preparedness” and acceptance of their families are a must, before deciding to go through with the surgery, including the decision to enter the initiative.

“Marami talaga sa’min may body dysmorphia,” he said of his fellow trans men. “Unhappy ka sa katawan na meron ka. Sabi nga namin, kung pwede lang lahat, gawin na. Kung nasa tindahan lang yan at pwede kang pumila, kasi ‘yun talaga ang lifelong dream ng isang transman. Ang matanggal ang [breasts nila], kasi iba ang confidence niya. Sa’kin, ang laking pagbabago.”

(A lot of us go through body dysmorphia. Many of them are unhappy with the body they have. If only they can do it easily. If it’s something that could be picked up from the store, you can line up for it because it is a trans man’s lifelong dream. Having one’s breasts removed improves one’s confidence. For me, it is a big change.)

Aside from body dysmorphia, Lazaro opened up about the struggle of being misgendered, although he pointed out that it should not be an excuse to take his frustration out on certain individuals. A notable incident of being misgendered involved former TV host Jude Bacalso who berated a server at a Cebu restaurant for addressing him as “sir” in July 2024.

“What I do is nagbibigay ako ng information, nagiging friendly ako kasi hindi naman nila kasalanan,” he said, noting that asking about his gender preference is a “plus point” for him. “Huwag na lang tayong magalit. Magbigay na lang tayo ng information. Kasi magiging mas negative ‘yung community kapag nagsespread tayo ng negativity. Maging helping hand tayo.”

(What I do is give information. I become friendly to them because it is not their fault. Let us not be angry at them. Let us just provide them with information. The community will be more negative if we spread negativity. Let us be a helping hand.)