Toni Gonzaga. Image: screengrab from YouTube/TicTALK with Aster Amoyo
Toni Gonzaga underscored that despite the “noise and chaos” in her life in 2022 and 2023, she doesn’t consider these years as her worst but rather a “beautiful season.”
The actress-TV host spoke about this during a conversation with entertainment writer Aster Amoyo, after the latter brought up how those years were “chaotic” for Gonzaga. Their talk was documented through Amoyo’s vlog on Friday, Feb. 2.
“It was a transitional year for me. I will not consider it the worst because I had Polly and I had my family,” Gonzaga said, referring to her second child with her husband Paul Soriano.
“Parang it was one of the most challenging, I would say, but it was one of the most beautiful seasons in my life. May beauty do’n sa chaos [at] noise na nangyari. Kasi ‘di ba, it’s a matter of how you look at things,” she continued.
It can be recalled that it was in 2022 and 2023 when Gonzaga was bombarded with criticisms for her political leanings. It was also in those years when she left ABS-CBN’s “Pinoy Big Brother” as one of its hosts, and signed with media company Advanced Media Broadcasting System (AMBS).
“Everything that happened was meant to happen, because everything that’s happening in your life is not against you; it’s happening for you. ‘Yun ang paniniwala ko,” she stressed.
Gonzaga pointed out that she didn’t cry over her circumstances at the time because being in the industry for years, she already learned that “nothing is permanent” and that endings are inevitable.
“Ang major iyak ko nung 2022 and 2023 was when I get a call and it was an unexpected blessing—do’n ako naiiyak,” she said. “Pero ‘yung transition, nahanda mo na yung sarili mo kasi medyo mature ka na rin sa industry.”
One of the instances she cried about was when she found out she was pregnant with Polly. Recalling such moment, Gonzaga said she felt blessed that there was “love growing inside of [her]” amid the “chaos and hate.”
“Maingay ‘yung 2022. Before the year ended, I found out I was pregnant,” she stated. “Na-realize ko na ang galing naman mag-reward ni Lord, na in the midst of chaos and hate, He planted something beautiful inside of me. He planted love.”
‘Parang nag-black ‘yung future’
Speaking about times when she was downhearted, Gonzaga also recalled how she started her YouTube channel “Toni Talks” after ABS-CBN went off-air in 2020.
“[Nung] nawalan ng franchise ang ABS-CBN, I was still with [them]. Feeling mo ‘yung hopes and dreams mo ay tapos na, wala na. ‘Yung mga nilu-look forward mo biglang na-cut lahat dahil wala na e,” she admitted.
“Nung nakita mong nag-black ‘yung TV mo, parang nag-black na rin ‘yung future mo. Feeling mo madilim na lahat, pati ‘yung future mo madilim na,” she recounted.
Gonzaga remembered snapping out of hopelessness after Soriano, who was the one who urged her to start her YouTube channel, reminded her that she can still dream for as long as she’s living.
“Sabi niya, ‘Don’t look at what’s gone. Tingnan mo kung ano ‘yung naiwan… Nawala ba ‘yung talent mo sa pagho-host?'” she quoted Soriano.
“Na-realize ko na your miracle is found not on who left or who abandoned you. Your miracle is found on what’s left with you,” Gonzaga said. “Start from what’s left in your hand.”