Moments Ryza Cenon wants to revisit—and leave—in the past

Ryza Cenon

Ryza Cenon

If she could go back in time, Ryza Cenon would revisit the years when her mother was still alive.

“I was just 2 years old when she died (of stomach cancer). I would love to get to know her better. I want to feel a mother’s love,” she said at a recent press conference for “Sa Muli,” an upcoming romantic drama film that revolves around reincarnation and time travel.

While there are many happy moments she hopes to relive, there are few she would rather leave in the past. She didn’t go into detail but she has been vocal about her struggles with depression and anxiety, which she attributed to a confluence of personal and career-related problems.

And there were moments, she admitted, that had her questioning God’s plans for her. “I found myself wondering and asking, ‘Bakit laging ganito? Ano ba ang mga maling ginawa ‘ko? Pinaparusahan ba ako? Lahat naman ginawa ko pero bakit ako na lang lagi ang nagsa-suffer?’” she related. “I don’t want to revisit those moments anymore.”

It was when she surrendered everything to God that things started to make sense. “When I felt like giving up, I told Him that I’m leaving everything to You—kayo na po ang bahala sa ‘kin. You have the power to make me understand what’s really happening in my life. I felt like nothing would happen if I just kept asking questions,” she said.

“But I felt like He answered me and helped me get back up again,” Ryza said.

Scene from “Sa Muli”

As long as she can help it, Ryza keeps her personal battles to herself. “I don’t think it would be helpful if the fans see me depressed. They may just get sad and get affected. It’s my battle, so I have to face it alone. But once I feel like I can’t do it alone, that’s the time I seek other people’s help,” she said.

Most challenging role

Produced by Viva Films and directed by Fifth Solomon, “Sa Muli” follows Pep (Xian Lim), a modern-day writer, who knows that he has been reincarnated twice in the last century or so: First, he lived in the 1900s as Victor who falls in love with a woman named Aurora; and then again in the 1950s with Belen. And both relationships he immortalized through his books.

In both love stories, the woman ends up tragically dying in the end. So when Pep crosses paths with Elly (Ryza), whom he believes is the reincarnation of Aurora and Belen, he tries to win her over and protect her from what destiny has in store. “I play three roles. But the most challenging was Belen, from the 1950s because I had to learn how to communicate through body language and hand fan gestures. We had to research that and get the moves right,” she said.

3 years in the making

The film, which opens on April 26, was three years in the making. Shooting started in 2020, but had to be postponed due to COVID-19. “I remember we were shooting in Quezon province when the announcement came that there would be a lockdown,” Ryza recalled.

Shooting resumed more than a year later, through locked-in sessions. By that time, the 35-year-old actress had already given birth to her first child, Night. “After not working for a long time, we returned to finish the scenes we didn’t get to do. It was hard because I was feeling rusty and had to get back into the characters,” she said.

Luckily, her leading man, Xian, couldn’t be more helpful. “It was easy working with him … I had no trouble drawing emotions and inspiration from him. One time, he had already packed up, but stayed with me because I needed the extra push for a scene,” she said. “I felt like we had already been friends for a long time.” INQ

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