How Nikki Valdez turned grief into contentment

Nikki Valdez

“I’ve healed,” declared actress Nikki Valdez, who underwent in vitro fertilization (IVF) treatment in 2021 to try to have another baby but failed.

Nikki has a 14-year-old daughter named Olivia from her previous marriage. She has been married to ABS-CBN sales executive Luis Garcia for four years now. The actress explained that they tried IVF twice before succeeding to develop an embryo, but when it was transferred to her uterus, “it failed to grow,” she said. “We call it ‘embaby’ because it’s an embryo/baby.”

The actress admitted that the more she shared her experience with people on how she dealt with grief and achieved acceptance, the better she felt emotionally. “I always think that there might be someone out there who needs my advice at that particular moment,” she began. “I kept praying for acceptance of the will of God, no matter how painful the situation was. By doing so, I was able to move on quickly.”

The actress continued: “Luis and I prayed for a baby. We felt that it was the right time. We were earning enough to be able to afford giving IVF a try, so we did and then left everything to God. Unfortunately, His will was different from ours. It also took a while before I learned to accept this. It even came to a point when I questioned His intentions. I asked, ‘How come families who no longer want kids were given kids? We only wished for one, but we were denied.’

To couples who might be going through a similar experience, Nikki has this to say: “This shouldn’t affect your relationship with your partner. It should even make it stronger. Luis and I just chose to be content and happy with what, or who, we have right now. We have Olivia.”

Request not granted

Nikki added that it also saddened her to know that Olivia also wanted to have a sibling, but that she was not able to grant that request. “That’s what’s painful, to have to explain to her why her wish wasn’t granted,” the mom said.

The actress was the celebrity storyteller during the most recent Inquirer Read-Along session. She read Ompong Remigio’s tearjerker story “Yaya Niya, Nanay Ko,” about a young girl who longs for the love of her mother, who works as a nanny and is absent from her life most of the time.

Nikki said she was grateful to have had help from her parents and siblings in taking care of Olivia when the latter was still a baby. “It’s tough being a single parent. Sadly, there were a lot of Olivia’s milestones, like when she lost her first tooth or the first time she was potty-trained, that I missed because I was at work,” she recalled.

Now that Olivia is a teenager, Nikki admitted that her relationship with her daughter has changed, although not necessarily in a negative way. “Just like most teens, she prefers to spend more time with her friends. At this stage, they think they’re old enough that they can’t be told what to do anymore,” she said.

“But what’s good about having a teenager at home is that we get to borrow stuff—clothes, shoes—from each other. I once told her to take good care of her shoes so I can still wear them when occasions require,” Nikki said, laughing.

These days, Nikki, who has a college degree in hotel and restaurant management, is also busy with her successful baking business. “I wanted to be an interior designer when I was younger, but I’m not good at drawing. However, I’ve always loved food,” she recalled. “They say baking is not easy. The measurement and the process have to be exact. It’s not like cooking wherein you can always add a pinch of salt when you find that it’s still bland.”

Nikki said baking became a therapy of sort for her at a time when she already wanted to quit show biz. “I wanted to explore other fields because acting projects became scarce. I was walking in a mall one time when I saw an announcement about a course on cake decoration. This was in 2014.”

First lessons

Nikki took her first lessons on icing designs with Chef Jackie Ang Po of Fleur de Lys Cafe. “I enjoyed it so much that I also enrolled myself in all of her courses. But they were all about decorating cakes. I asked myself, ‘What would I do with all this knowledge if I don’t know how to bake a cake?’ That started my baking journey. In 2016, I posted on social media that I was finally ready to take orders.”

Nikki said she then found this particular business rewarding, “because I am able to make people happy … because they allow me to become part of their lives.”“I don’t have a physical shop. I’m a home baker. My clients order online. When I bake wedding cakes, for example, I am able to really get to know the couple through their preferences in cake designs,” she pointed out. “There’s nothing more fulfilling than receiving a thank-you message from someone who says his or her family loved what I made for them. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam!”

These days, her work as a baker has become a good source of income. “Before all these, I told myself that I wanted to find ways outside show biz to earn more. I realized that when you get up and actually try to execute your plan, the blessing will eventually follow. This hobby has sort of become a business. It has done so much good to me in terms of my personality, as well as to my family. For some reason, it has empowered me, it has given me strength.”

Nikki is part of two film entries in the 2022 Metro Manila Film Festival in December: Ruel Naval’s heartwarming family drama “Family Matters,” and Coco Martin’s romantic comedy “Labyu With an Accent.”