A grin of salt, ‘localike’ and other boob-tube booboos

THANKS to all of our readers who said they enjoyed our “harvest” of Boob-Tube Booboos last month. One good turn deserves another, so here’s a fresh batch of (unintended) risible moments on TV to brighten your day:

Host: Why did you put up this new resort?

Guest: It has an environmental touch to it, because we put it up especially for nature lovebirds!

(Tweet, tweet!)

* * *

Host: How did you take the bad reactions to your last show?

Guest: Well, you cannot please everybody! I just took it all with a grin of salt!

(—We guess you would describe that as—a salty smile!)

* * *

Host: Tell us about your new facial product.

Guest: It’s specially configurated for middle-aged women, to keep them smooth and young at heart!

(Wow, configurated!)

* * *

Host: Why are there so many earthquakes these days?

Guest: It must be the change in the world due to global warning!

(—We’re warning you, one more crack like that, and—!)

* * *

Host: I hear you had many jobs before you became successful as an actor?

Guest: Oh yes, I had to.

Host: Can you tell us some of them?

Guest: Well, I started out as a taxi waiter.

(At the same time? —That’s what we call multitasking!)

* * *

Host: Your skin is so smooth and beautiful now—but, I hear it was not always that way?

Guest: Oh, yes, it was terrible—when I was a teenager, I suffered from a lot of pinfalls!

(Did you work in a bowling alley? —Oh, pimples!)

***

Host: If your acting career makes you a star by next year, how will you spend your earnings?

Guests: Definitely, for my family. I’m the family bedwinner!

(—Not  the family bedwetter?)

* * *

Host: What would you be doing now, if you were not an actor?

Guest: Itutuloy ko ang pagiging  nursing ko, para  makatulong pa rin sa aking mga magulang.

(Good luck!)

* * *

Host: I hear, in the province, you are known as an impersonator of Manny Pacquiao?

Guest: Yes, I am known as one of the localike of Manny.

(Lookalike? “Localike?” Cute!)

* * *

Host: After the successful operation of your friend, what was your group’s reaction?

Guest: We all had a sign of relief!

(Ah, come again?)

* * *

Host: To whom do you dedicate your new album?

Guest: I would like to lovingly dedicate it to all my friends and quaintances!

(How—quaint!)

* * *

Host: What is the advantage of having a home business?

Guest: At home, you can save on rental cost of your office—at hindi mo na kailangang mag-traffic!

(Do tell!)

* * *

Host: The weather forecast today is rainy—so, bring an umbrella!

Cohost: Yes, pag rainy, mahirap sa mga bus at FX na walang payong!

(Oo nga, baka mabasa ang mga sasakyan, kawawa naman!)