Image: Instagram/@yeng
Yeng Constantino looked back on husband Yan Asuncion’s traumatic cliff diving accident while they were in Siargao last July, calling it the “lowest point” in the 13 years of her career.
Constantino made the revelation during her guesting on “Tonight with Boy Abunda”, a clip of which was uploaded on YouTube, Dec. 26, where she also admitted to TV host Boy Abunda that her husband did not agree about her vlogging their experience.
At the time, Constantino faced public criticism for doctor-shaming when she named a doctor on her vlog for “kakulangan ng malasakit” (lack of compassion). She eventually took down her vlog and apologized to the doctor.
“I think that was the lowest point na naranasan ko in 13 years ng career ko,” said Constantino. “I felt like at that time the world was against me and I have to open my eyes to really see clearly kung sino yung mga taong nandun para s’akin to not feel sobrang awang awa sa sarili, yun yung natutunan ko…” (I had to open my eyes to really see clearly who are the people there for me so I do not have to feel too sorry for myself. That was what I learned.)
“To tell [you] honestly hindi siya agree sa ginawa ko, but ako parang ano ako eh, parang… mother bear, parang sobrang gusto kong may ipaglaban kahit minsan, alam mo yun, may nagagawa tayong mali dahil sa may gusto tayong ipaglaban,” she added.
(To tell you honestly, my husband did not agree with what I did. But I felt like a mother bear, I wanted to fight for something just once. You know that? How sometimes we do something wrong because we want to fight for something.)
Constantino also said that her husband told her he wanted to stop her, but at the same time, he wanted her to have the freedom to do what she wanted. She also explained that because of what happened, their relationship now has a better dynamic and matured more, and that she can now feel free to ask for his support to restrain her, if he thinks she might be off to do “something stupid.”
“‘Hawakan mo ‘ko, okay lang ‘yun,’” she recalled saying. (Hold me, that is ok.)
Abunda listened to Constantino intently and shared his own experience after he lost his mother, Licerna Abunda, on Dec. 1. As per Abunda, he dealt with many caregivers, nurses and doctors during the time his mother was in the hospital for 63 days. Abunda said he requested for a family-con upon the suggestion of one of his mother’s doctors, where doctors, the family and everyone else involved in caring for his mother were gathered.
Abunda recalled that they explained to him a lot of things he did not understand, but that he was given a chance to speak from the heart.
“(I said the families of patients in the) ICU are at their lowest, are at their most irascible,” said Abunda. He noted that they can be illogical, angry, sad, uncertain and insecure because of extreme fear of losing a loved one.
He recalled, but did not mention from where, an article about compassion he had read that was written by an intensivist or a physician specializing in care for critically ill patients. Abunda seemed to be talking about an article similar to a TEDx Talk delivered by Dr. Stephen Trzeciak on June 5, 2018 called “How 40 Seconds of Compassion Could Save a Life.”
Abunda noted that compassion, empathy and sympathy from a caregiver or doctor has a physical effect on the patient. He also explained that a loved one who displays extreme emotions and behavior should not be deemed overacting because one simply wants to make sure that the caregivers are doing the right thing. And so, looking back on Constantino’s experience, Abunda said that she had a point and that he saw himself in her.
“I am not saying that it is right to disrespect caregivers,” he said. “Pero gusto ko lamang maunawaan ng mga doctor at ng mga caregivers na you are not in your normal self. Hindi ka normal. Naranasan ko yun…” (I just want the doctors and caregivers to understand that you were not your normal self. I experienced that.)
“Buhay ‘yun eh, mahal ko, compassion. Galit talaga ako (That is a life, a loved one. Compassion. I was really angry),” he added. “Do I make sense? Hindi, pero buhay ‘to ng asawa ko, buhay ito ng nanay ko (No, but this is the life of my husband, the life of my mother), so I understand where you’re coming from because you didn’t know whether Yan was going to survive it or not.” Cody Cepeda/JB
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Yeng Constantino apologizes to Siargao doctor, takes down vlog