Scene-stealing has-been can’t control her libido-driven impulses

Yes, the colorful stories you’ve heard about Yodeling Klutz’s (YK) bedroom proclivities are true: For example, many full moons ago, two of her “generous” friends once gifted her with a pay-for-play boytoy after a spirit-crushing heartbreak.

YK initially played coy after her gay BFFs finally introduced her to Handsome Plaything (HP), asking him if he brought “protection” for the arranged tryst. But even before HP could reply, YK quickly took something from her bag and, voila, handed HP a condom!

YK must have been a girl scout in her youth, no? Laging handa.

TOP OF THE TABLOIDS

Nadine Lustre

This week’s top show biz news in the Inquirer tabloid Bandera (and why we are moved, if we are moved):

• Pamilya ni Angelica Panganiban hinaras ng taxi driver sa Paris: ‘Wag ang pamilya ko, gunggong ka! (Lagot.)
• Morissette Amon mawawasak ang career dahil sa “attitude problem.” (Sabi nga ni Mareng Janet, “That’s the way love goes.”)
• 

  Morissette Amon

  Morissette umamin na sa kasalanan: Please, ipagdasal n’yo ako… (It’s that bad, huh?)

• Mensahe ni Regine Velasquez kay Morissette: Sana bigyan pa siya ni God ng lakas, ang hirap… (Or some spanking…?)
• “Dapat lang tawaging bagong bayani si Angel Locsin, ang tunay na Darna.” (She’s a superhero even without the costume.)
• Sarah Geronimo at Matteo Guidicelli kinausap na ang mga magiging ninang, ninong at abay sa kasal… (Oh, we can imagine the gifts…!)
• Ion Perez bantay-sarado kay Vice Ganda; walang tiwala sa mga dancers ng “Showtime.” (Asus.)
• Coco Martin kay Vice: Natutuwa ako dahil nahanap na niya ang totoong magmamahal sa kanya… (Fingers crossed.)
• 

  Coco Martin

  Sino ang Kapuso aktor na gustong makatambal ni Marian Rivera sa teleserye? Walang iba kundi ang kanyang asawa na si Dingdong Dantes… (Double the fun, double the pay.)

• Hiling ng fans: Pagsamahin sina Alden Richards at Dingdong sa pelikula! (We have a feeling Jessa Zaragoza won’t mind. Hehe.)
• Dingdong bayani ang turing kay Alden; saludo sa fans na nagtanim ng puno. (Does that mean he’s a martyr?)
• Sigaw ng mga adik sa ‘The Gift’ ni Alden: Nakakabitin! (Carried away?)
• 

  Alden Richards

  Rita Daniela ayaw dyowain si Ken Chan: Baka kasi biglang mawala ‘yung magic ng RitKen! (She’s superstitious pala?)

• Arjo Atayde araw-araw nai-in love kay Maine Mendoza: Very loving and caring… (Yaya, eh… Probably comes with the territory.)
• Anak ni Atong Ang nag-thank you kay Gretchen Barretto sa premiere night; payag maging kontrabida ni Julia Barretto. (Two peas in a pod.)
• Julia na-shock nang muling makita si Joshua Garcia: Ang payat mo, kumain ka! (She didn’t think he’s brokenhearted…?)
• Nathalie Hart: Hindi po kami hiwalay ng tatay ng anak ko! (Really? Who asked, anyway?)
• Lovi Poe palaban sa kama, kinagat-kagat sa iba’t-ibang bahagi ng katawan si Joem Bascon! (Is their movie a zombie flick?)
• Nora Aunor aprub kay Sanya Lopez bilang bagong Super Gee! (Oh my Gee!)
• Jay Sonza sa viral photo ni Nadine Lustre: Ineng, hubarin mo na yang marumi mong pantalon… (Give the guy a mirror, quick!)
• Sandara Park nag-celebrate ng 34th birthday sa Bohol. (Wow, somebody still cares… Imagine that.)