WATCH: Iza Calzado admits losing mom to depression, bares her mental health struggles
MANILA, Philippines — Raising awareness in celebration of World Mental Health Day on Thursday (October 10), actress Iza Calzado admitted that she lost her mother to depression after years of battling mental health struggles.
“My mom, ever since I knew her, or could understand things enough, had a mental illness,” Calzado said about her mother, Mary Anne Ussher, in a video uploaded by women’s movement She Talks on Thursday.
“At that time, she was told she was neurotic, this was the ‘80s. She had a temper, she could flare up,” she recalled.
To calm her down, Calzado said that her mother was given “downers.” However, she added that Ussher “was misdiagnosed.”
“And eventually, she became manic depressive, and eventually bipolar was the last term.”
According to Calzado, Ussher also went through a difficult time sometime in 1988, when she lost a baby boy. It was also that year that Ussher’s best friend was murdered.
“So my mom, part of her, what she was battling, she wanted her life to end, you know?” Calzado admitted.
Despite the memories Calzado had of Ussher, such as her several trips to the hospital, the actress said that she did not want to paint a bad picture of her mother.
However, things got more serious in 2001, Calzado said.
“It was a Saturday night, I went to Pravda,” Calzado recalled. “I went out, because [I was] living my best party life.”
The next morning, the actress said she woke upon hearing her “yaya” (nanny) scream.
“I went down, and I saw my mother… yeah,” the actress painfully remembered.
Fighting back tears, Calzado recalled what was going through her mind that time: “I was like, the first thing I’m like, ‘You did it!’ But of course, you’re panicking.”
Her family immediately rushed Ussher to St. Luke’s Hospital, saying: “I remember being in the emergency room, and my dad was there.”
“But because of how many times she had done it, it was like, ‘Is it done?’” she said. “I didn’t realize she was actually gonna do it.”
“She was tired,” Calzado said of Ussher.
And although it has been years since her mother’s death, Calzado said that sharing Ussher’s story was the “greatest gift” she could give to her.
“I want to let her know that I am no longer ashamed, and I understand her,” she said.
