Image: Facebook/@CYSeguerra
Singer and former National Youth Commission (NYC) chairperson Ice Seguerra opened up about his battle with depression and anxiety.
Seguerra shared that he was first diagnosed with depression and anxiety in the early 2000s, as per her Instagram post on Wednesday, Oct. 2. His post included an image from The Depression Project to show what depression looks like.
As per Seguerra, he did therapy then, but later stopped taking his medication and going to his doctor.
“Mula noon (since then), I just lived with it. It’s like a cloud hovering, hindi mo alam kung kelan ka tatamaan (you never know when it’s going to hit you),” said Seguerra.
“There are days na ok lang, kaya kong dalhin. Pero may mga araw din na gusto mo na lang matapos lahat, kasi pagod ka na,” he added.
(There are days that you are okay, that you can handle it, but there are also days when you just want everything to end because you’re tired.)
Seguerra added that the latest trigger of his depression and anxiety was his short stint as NYC chairperson. He tendered his resignation and stepped down as chairperson in March 2018.
READ: What’s next for Ice Seguerra after NYC resignation?
“It got worse when I resigned and went back to the industry I thought I knew. Suddenly, I felt like an outsider,” he said. “Parang (it was like I was a) first timer na I had to navigate my way through things again. I felt lost and displaced.”
During that dark time, Seguerra said he was just numb. What used to bring joy and excitement to him no longer lifted his spirits; he could not feel a thing. He only decided to see his doctor again when he realized his condition was already affecting his relationship and craft.
“If I have work, kumakanta ako pero wala akong nararamdamang kaba, lungkot o saya. Walang empathy. Walang passion. Wala. Kumanta LANG ako (I sang but I didn’t feel any nervousness, sadness or happiness. No empathy. No passion. Nothing. I JUST sang),” he said. “When it started to affect my relationship with Liza and other people I love, I knew I needed professional help.”
Seguerra decided to return to his doctor early this year and it was a decision he does not regret. For one, he started to feel things again, although of course he still experiences moments when he feels sad. Seguerra added that he has a strong support group rallying behind him.
“Mas na eexcite na ako ulit about life (I get more excited about life again). Yes, there are moments na I feel sad but mas madalas na nakakaramdam ako ng saya (there are more moments when I feel happy),” he said. “I have a strong support group and right now, I’m just happy to feel things again.” /ra
RELATED STORIES:
How speaking up about suicide can save lives
Ice Seguerra deplores transgender comfort room discrimination