Jaymee Joaquin childless at 40 by choice: Motherhood shouldn’t be ‘imposed’

TV host and actress Jaymee Joaquin opened up on her thoughts about motherhood and said that it should not be an obligation, despite pressures in society that one must have children to make a contribution to the world.

Joaquin, who turned 40 last July 27, pondered about motherhood being an obligation or a choice in a video on Instagram on Tuesday, Aug. 6. She is a cancer survivor currently based in California and runs a personal blog.

https://www.instagram.com/p/B0ziCx7HiOG/

“I am 40 years old and I have no kids both by chance and by choice. I was busy building a career, [traveling] the world and I got diagnosed with cancer and made the decision not to freeze my eggs and just enjoy life,” she said.

“This question keeps haunting me because I feel like there is this pressure in the society that at a certain age that we need to bear children and that it’s our obligation to give back to the community by procreating.”

“I strongly disagree with the fact that it should be an obligation,” she said, explaining that she would not have been able to travel the world or pursue a career in the Philippines if she had been a mother.

She acknowledged that being a parent is challenging. “I feel like being mother is such a big big responsibility and I really really salute the parents out there,” she said. “It’s such a very difficult task that’s 24/7 to raise a human being in today’s complicated world.”

Given that, she said it is also a responsible choice not to become a parent. She reflected on growing up in a broken family and feeling that she does not have the right model to raise a family. “You can see it as being responsible if you cannot provide financial resources, love and care for [kids],” she reasoned.

Joaquin also said some people have children to find a sense of worth and that it is “selfish” to have them for the sake of receiving love and to be cared for in the future.

“I think children are not therapy, they are not something you create to give worth to yourself and find love and happiness,” she stressed. “Leaving a legacy behind is what having children is about. This is the human being that you’d like to take care of and guide to contribute to the world.”

She reminded people who are “child-free” that there are other ways to contribute to the community besides raising a child. She suggested being active in organizations, nurturing relationships and pursuing one’s own passion. She also mentioned that adults can also support children who have been abandoned or do not have parents by being a mentor to them.

Joaquin said, “I see all these possibilities that you can give back to the world by contributing as an adult, not necessarily as a parent.”  /ra

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