Sizzling sweetheart is a sourpuss

We can’t really blame fans for being smitten with Mesmerizing Kewpie, the current toast of the town.

MK is a sight for sore eyes. MK is sugar and spice and everything … OK, not so fast. According to insiders, MK is not so nice away from the cameras.

A former lover complains that MK can be a tad lazy and messy. MK acts like a precious princess, expecting everyone to be at her beck and call.

No wonder ex-beau’s relatives were not so fond of MK.

They loathed MK and were actually jubilant when the two parted ways.

Build me up buttercup

It’s perplexing why Major Firm is pulling out all the stops to make Scintillating Youngster’s star shine brighter.

Anyone with a good pair of eyes can clearly see that SY is hopeless.

There are countless other wannabes who are prettier, sexier and more talented. So what makes SY stand out from the madding crowd?

Is it because SY has a rich and powerful supporter in Scandalous Celebrity?

Mystery solved!

Another head-scratcher

But here comes another head-scratcher.

While we’re at it, is SC also the reason why Alluring Personality keeps bagging one prized project after another?

AP’s “15 minutes of fame” was already over and done with. So, why is AP still hogging the limelight?

For some strange reason, MF is still showering AP with plum assignments. What gives?

Are they still trying to please SC, who seems to have a l-o-n-g memory?

Metamorphosis

Lovely Starlet sure looks different these days.

Whenever old photos and videos crop up, LS can’t help getting anxious. After all, people can start comparing LS’ before-and-after looks.

It’s plain to see that LS has undergone a major metamorphosis—not just a makeover, but a total transformation.

For starters, fixing LS’ teeth had a huge impact, turning her from an also-ran to a victorious stunner.

Moving violation

From the Inquirer tabloid Bandera:

This make-believe romance has crossed over to real life…

Imprudent Babe fell head over heels for coworker, Gorgeous Jouster.  Thing was, IB was still involved with Scary Pugilist.

IB romped away with GJ, even before calling it quits with SP.

As expected, SP was seething. SP was the last to find out that IB and GJ had been dating for weeks.

In hardcourt parlance, it was a moving violation. Foul!

TOP OF THE TABLOIDS

This week’s top show biz news in the Inquirer tabloid Bandera (and why we are moved, if we are moved):

Ethel Booba, mas matalino at may sense kaysa kay Mocha Uson, ayon sa mga netizens! (Spin a win!)

Claudine Barretto umayaw na sa movie nila ni Mark Anthony Fernandez. (Hmmm…)

Richard Yap binalaan sa planong pagtakbo sa Kongreso. (Stop … in the name of love!)

Dingdong Dantes sa pagpasok sa pulitika: “Hindi ako tatakbong senador!” (Moving on…)

Kasal nila Cesar Montano at Sunshine Cruz, annulled na! (Should we say “Congrats?”)

Epy Quizon may adbokasiya para sa Mindanao pero wala raw planong tumakbo sa 2019! (Ayaw ni Mabini tumakbo?)

Sanya Lopez at Derrick Monasterio nagpaka-wild! (Promo!)

Joshua Garcia bitbit ang pressure sa seryeng  “Ngayon at Kailanman.” (Ilapag muna ’pag mabigat.)

Jenine Desiderio kinuyog ng fans ni Janella Salvador: “Sinisira mo ang anak mo!” (Oh dear.)

Coco Martin (left) and Yassi Pressman

Yassi Pressman dinenay na niligawan siya ni Coco Martin. (OK.)

Coco tinawag na pambansang ninong ng show biz.  (Fine.)

Sam Concepcion at Kiana Valenciano, hiwalay na: “No third party, pero…” (Whatever.)