BB Gandanghari reveals struggle to reach ‘overwhelming and elusive’ Hollywood dream
2017 in RETROSPECT: An Open letter… when the going gets tough, the tough gets going! What a year it had been. Exactly a year ago, I was definitely on cloud 9. I felt very legal and official, I just finished some courses from UCLA, feeling comfy with the new crib, simply excited to rebuild a life, a career… as I continue this journey to womanhood. I was also feeling optimistic of a Hollywood career, so optimistic that with just a few bucks in my pocket, I was ready to go, feeling all planned out. That I am giving myself 3mons to get signed up by a top AGENCY and doors would open wide and Hollywood would embrace me ‘oh so lovingly,’ as my dream dictates. I was WRONG, of course. Agency hunting as I used to call it, proved to be very challenging. I started working on my profile/resume, reels and other stuff January of 2017, but not until June was I finally ready to send it out to agencies. Or so I thought. Of course I wasn’t. I needed to update my headshot, I was told. By this time, I was already out of schedule, as far as being represented, being a working actor that is, and OUT of BUDGET. There are bills and rent to pay no matter what. So there I was, in the summer of 2017, doing everything that is humanly possible to survive this so called LIFE… of a woman susceptible to hate bec I am transgender. Tough times is an understatement as I find ways and means to be productive so as to not only support a mere existence in a foreign land but to support a dream, the so-called Hollywood dream. And boy, it’s no joke. And so on my 50th summertime, I must admit, I’ve never prayed harder. It is the scariest times, as I wrestle thru the challenges of pursuing this now seemingly overwhelming and elusive Hollywood dream of mine. Life in simple terms, confronted me at face value. Physical, social, physiological, psychological, financial and professional insecurities was slowly becoming me. As I try with all my might to overcome these limitations, I am in the realization that I gotta have my headshot soonest or go home or… broke. Talking about pressure with the capital P… to be continued…ADVERTISEMENT
It’s a long road for BB Gandanghari, but it’s worth the wait.
On Instagram, she shared in an open letter on Wednesday that her 2017 was all about chasing her dream of building a name for herself in Hollywood.
The older sibling of action star Robin Padilla revealed that she was feeling optimistic about starting a career even if she was struggling financially. She even planned that she would give herself a three-month period to be signed by a top agency.
“I was WRONG, of course. Agency hunting as I used to call it, proved to be very challenging,” Gandanghari realized.
Having already her resume by the start of the year, it was not until June that she passed it out to agencies and had to update her headshot every now and then while doing small jobs.
“Survival mode, I used to remind myself every time I would feel weak and out during this process. LA living is far from cheap… double job/ shift I’ve [realized] is the only way to go. I did just that,” Gandanghari said.
It was also during this time that she realized the “sad and unfortunate reality” of discrimination due to her gender.
“It is at this time too, that discrimination as a transgender on job opportunities is not just a hearsay, but a sad and unfortunate reality, as I urgently sought employment to support a life, a DREAM,” she admitted.
Part2: an Open letter… Struggles are Real! It is at this time too, that discrimination as a transgender on job opportunities is not just a hearsay, but a sad and unfortunate reality, as I urgently sought employment to support a life, a DREAM. There are few options and I’m willing to do them all, believe me. Survival, indeed, is an instinct, bec my instincts dictated so. Survival mode, I used to remind myself every time I would feel weak and out during this process. LA living is far from cheap… double job/ shift I’ve realize is the only way to go. I did just that. So in the middle of crazy work hours, I worked on my headshots. And as soon as I had them, I wasted no time on sending them out. I got some callbacks, for sure, but nothing really came out of it after some few back and forths. Then came The Brogan Agency’s call. They scheduled my interview in 2weeks and I thought, 2weeks?… oh my, feels forever! By this time, my day job schedule is already taking a toll on me… badly. Not getting enough sleep, long physical work hours, no day offs, really do weaken even the mighty. And mighty I am definitely not. This was also the time when missing work bec you’re sick is not an option. A character defining moment I would tell myself… haha… just so I can keep going. I have reached out to people closest to me for support, in all aspects that’s for sure, but even that seemed to be not as accessible. Emotional support at this time proved to be the most vital. Fall2017 marked my transition into becoming an auditioning actor when I signed with @thebroganagency. Praise be to God Almighty, Jehovah. The great white ‘Hollywood’ way is finally within sight. So far, I have auditioned to some of the top network shows that I never thought I would ever have the chance to do so and went as far as being on hold for a role, I’m proud to say. 2017, I will always remember as the year I finally come to terms with my whole BEING. It is also HEARTBREAKING as I see ‘Both Sides Now’ in regards to people’s, closest to my heart, belief and confidence in me. That I’m finally seeing the light at the end of this long and dark tunnel. So help me GOD. #filipinoartistinhollywoodADVERTISEMENT
After the longest time, her struggles soon changed to relief as she snagged a deal with The Brogan Agency in the fall of 2017.
“The great white ‘Hollywood’ way is finally within sight,” she exclaimed.
“So far, I have auditioned to some of the top network shows that I never thought I would ever have the chance to do so and went as far as being on hold for a role, I’m proud to say,” Gandanghari added with pride.
Ending her post, she said that she will remember her year when she finally “came into terms with my whole being” and saw the light at the end of “this long and dark tunnel.”
Previously, her younger brother revealed that Gandanghari was trying to make both ends meet by being an Uber driver, but gave the assurance that she was doing well. /ra
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