What happens when you put Michelle Pfeiffer, Hilary Swank, Halle Berry, Katherine Heigl, Sarah Jessica Parker, Robert De Niro, Ashton Kutcher, Zac Efron, Abigail Breslin, Josh Duhamel, Jon Bon Jovi, John Lithgow, Matthew Broderick, Sofia Vergara, James Belushi, Jessica Biel, Alyssa Milano, Common, Ryan Seacrest and Lea Michele in one movie? Nothing much, really.
There’s a little of everything in the ensemble piece, “New Year’s Eve,” Garry Marshall’s well-meaning but feeble follow-up to last year’s “Valentine’s Day.” But, Marshall botches the enviable opportunity to work with his stellar cast, because his film’s intertwining tales are either too flimsy, implausible or underdeveloped to be truly “relatable” or empathetic. (Yes, the first one was just as shallow, but at least some of its segments resonated with viewers—especially Julia Roberts’.)
Festive stories
What the movie has in spades, however, is the stellar sheen its charismatic actors bring to the mostly festive stories they breathe life into: Over the course of New Year’s Eve in New York, Paul (Efron) makes everything on Ingrid’s (Pfeiffer) wish list come true.
As Ingrid celebrates the symbolic strides she makes in her life, nurse Aimee (Berry) is having a hard time cheering up dying Vietnam veteran, Stan (De Niro), who mouths his apologies to his estranged daughter during moments of delirium.
Elsewhere in the hospital, two “expectant” couples are setting their sights on the large prize allotted for the first neonate who will be born when the clock strikes 12 on New Year’s Day — but, a pregnant woman’s labor is just as unpredictable as her mood swings.
A few kilometers away, a horror-stricken Claire (Swank) is in dire straits as she watches the Christmas lantern for the Annual Ball Drop in Times Square stop halfway through –and, she just fired the only guy (Hector Elizondo) capable of fixing it.
Revelry
Waiting to join in the revelry is rock star, Jensen (Bon Jovi), who’s hot on the heels of chef Laura (Heigl), the fiancée he left last year — immediately after he asked for her hand in marriage! Meanwhile, Elise (Michele), his talented backup singer, has pressing problems of her own — she’s stuck in the elevator with a curmudgeon of a comic-book illustrator, Randy (Kutcher).
A few blocks away, Kim (Parker) is having a tough night dealing with her rebellious daughter, Hailey (Breslin). And, across Manhattan, a dashing bachelor (Duhamel) from Connecticut is gearing up for his fairy-tale-like date with destiny!
The movie’s premise is no doubt intriguing unfortunately, the stories it weaves together don’t amount to much. But, if you don’t mind sitting through Marshall’s featherweight approach and his production’s romantic whimsy, the unexpected twists in the disparate storylines and the cast’s earnest portrayals — most notably, those turned in by Berry, Heigl, Parker, the hilarious Vergara and the adorable Efron — should spread some holiday cheer and tug at your heartstrings. If you like seeing your protagonists get their fresh starts and second chances, this movie’s for you!