Former heartthrob loses job, gains weight

Advancing years have finally caught up with Hunky Heartthrob, who is no longer as hot as before.

Mole spotted HH, huffing and puffing in the gym, in a valiant but vain effort to shed a few pounds.

HH has been down in the dumps of late—ever since losing a plum project.

HH’s career is such a disappointment that even Bodacious Partner seems to be doing much better by comparison.

It’s that bad.

No wonder HH is packing on the lbs.

Emotional eating, much?

Missing in action

Not a few observers expressed dismay because Vivacious Celebrity failed to show up in an important event that paid tribute to Beloved Insider.

VC didn’t even bother to send flowers, not even a text message to BI and family… nada.

To think, BI was instrumental in building up VC’s career.

If not for BI’s help, VC would’ve languished in show biz limbo much, much longer.

Alas, it’s not the first time that VC got in trouble for snubbing a supposed friend.

Scared silly

Cute Charmer should thank his lucky stars that he was spared the distress of accepting Doomed Project.

CC must’ve sensed that there was something amiss with DP.

Alas, Eager Upstart wasn’t as fortunate.

EU mindlessly grabbed DP and didn’t bother to ask around regarding CC’s hasty departure.

Well-meaning Adviser bluntly warned EU that DP could very well be the end of his fledgling career.

Now, EU is scared silly. EU has confessed to WA that he regrets getting involved in DP.

Shadow play

Glamorous Personality could’ve been a huge star by now.

GP, however, failed to live up to the hype.

GP blames Successful Kin and other overachieving relatives for “getting in the way of stardom.”

GP concedes that SK is one tough act to follow. Indeed, GP would forever pale in comparison to SK.

Instead of whining and sourgraping, GP should’ve just ventured into another line of work. GP should consider a different industry, far away from the shadow of SK and company.

Fast and furious

From the Inquirer tabloid Bandera:

Other stars would gladly allow their personal staff to be interviewed, especially to give glowing testimonials for boob-tube celebrations.

Not Seasoned Performer, who has instructed the team to steer clear of interviewers.

Can hardly blame SP.

SP’s staffers have nothing positive to share with the public, after all.

Rumor has it, SP would only feed veggies (grown in the backyard) to the poor helpers. No meat allowed.

And if SP is on a diet, the entire household is encouraged to go fasting, as well.

TOP OF THE TABLOIDS

This week’s top show biz news in the Inquirer tabloid Bandera (and why we are moved, if we are moved).

Maxine Medina to her bashers: “I gave my best…my heart and my soul!” (Over!)

Maxine Medina

Maja Salvador on her past relationships: “Umasa na rin ako, na-in love pero hindi naman nasuklian!” (#Hugot.)

Maja Salvador

Julia Montes’ message for her next beau: “Ipaglalaban ko hanggang dulo!” (Hmmm…)

Julia Montes

Pagbili ni Julia ng house and lot malapit sa bahay ni Coco Martin walang malisya: “Pikit-mata ko siyang kinuha!” (Eyes wide shut?)

Robi Domingo sa breakup nila ni Gretchen Ho: “Sorry, hindi ko pa ’yan masasagot!” (Take your time.)

Erich Gonzales galit na galit daw kay Daniel Matsunaga; matindi ang away! (After the loving comes the hating?)

Erich Gonzales (left) and Daniel Matsunaga

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