Earthshaking changes in store for struggling firm

Well, it’s not exactly the first time that Struggling Firm (SF) will undergo a major upheaval.

A mole insists that High-profile Personality (HP) will take over SF’s top post anytime soon. HP’s appointment had already been announced internally—and will soon be made public.

As for HP’s Immediate Predecessor (IP)?

Perhaps IP can take consolation in the perception that not even a miracle could’ve turned things around for SF.

Unless, of course, HP is a miracle worker. Those in the know insist that HP has the ear of Big Boss these days.

Queen of feels

Peers simply can’t stand Perky Nymphet (PN).

They’ve dubbed PN, the Queen of Feels—not because PN is a sensitive drama princess, but because she “feels” she’s always the “smartest and most beautiful” gal in the room.

Indeed, PN can be an infuriating, vainglorious know-it-all.

Worse, PN’s superiority complex has often led to conflict on the set. PN is frequently caught in all sorts of squabbles with costars—mostly, with fellow mean girls.

File under C. For catty, catty.

State of denial

Seems Cantankerous Celeb’s (CC) drumbeaters are in a state of denial.

They seem to think CC is still on top of the world. They even had the gall to compare CC to a world-renowned luminary.

VILMA Santos

They keep repeating that CC will bounce back in spite of a disastrous decision that can spell doom, career-wise. After all, if they persistently harped about it, people might start believing it in the end.

Little boy lost

Handsome Personality (HP) was once considered one of the more promising discoveries in the biz.

HP, however, got hooked on illicit substances—to rebel against Famous Relative (HR) who pursued happiness away from the clan.

Although HP and FR have somewhat reconciled, the kid remains dazed and confused these days.

Lost in a world of his own, HP has never really recovered from all those drug-addled nights of experimentation.

Generous gal

ALJUR Abrenica

From the Inquirer tabloid Bandera:

Former boyfriends claim that Scintillating Starlet (SS) is quite a giving partner—in the boudoir, that is. SS can be a tad generous and often initiates those “close” encounters with the lucky boys.

Thing is, SS constantly heeds the call of the flesh.

SS also has no qualms about having a one-night stand with the good-looking guys whom she fancies.

SS isn’t picky either and gladly acts as the “beard” of dubious dates.

Top of the Tabloids

This week’s top show biz news in the Inquirer tabloid Bandera (and why we are moved, if we are moved):

ALEX Gonzaga (left) and Joseph Marco

Alex Gonzaga umamin: “Niregaluhan ako ni Joseph (Marco) ng bracelet, terno kami!” (Guys, please ignore the fact that they’re promoting a movie.)

Alex Gonzaga on being a “rebound girl”: Napakasakit…parang ang pangit-pangit mo! (Speaking of which…)

Boy Abunda nagpasalamat kay Rep. Vilma Santos: “Matagal na siyang kakampi ng LGBT!” (To think, he’s a Noranian.)

SUNSHINE Dizon

Aljur Abrenica inatake ng depresyon dahil sa “wooden acting”: “Sinadya kong umalis at nag-aral talaga ako!” (Did he study horticulture? Forestry?)

Serye nina Kris Aquino, Dingdong Dantes, Alden Richards at Maine Mendoza sa GMA 7, hinarang agad. (Namen.)

Marian Rivera nang-isnab daw ng fans sa “Sunday PinaSaya.” (Stop the press!)

Coco Martin at Julia Montes hiwalay na. (Filipino women all over the world, rejoice!)

Sunshine Dizon walang balak i-urong ang demanda laban sa asawa. (Nothing can stop her now.)