Has-been hits jackpot after fight with major star

Some guys have all the luck.

Gorgeous Personality has already reached the end of the line, career-wise. A has-been before becoming famous, GP was in limbo for the longest time.

All of a sudden, GP figured in an embarrassing altercation with Major Star. Who knew that that random scandal was the equivalent of winning the lottery?

With dispatch, MS’ handlers shushed GP by offering a slew of lucrative projects.

Now, GP is simply too busy to badmouth MS.

Silent thrill

Beautiful Starlet was chatting with Industry Veteran about the past indiscretions of colleagues.

IV casually mentioned that Stunning Star had a steamy affair with Handsome Coworker before hooking up with Present Partner.

BS’ curiosity was piqued.

After all, BS had a stormy relationship with SS. When IV recounted the salacious details of SS and HC’s bedroom mazurka, BS didn’t look squeamish at all.

Did we detect a slight, silent thrill in BS’ eyes?

Uuuuy!

Unmoved

Returning Celebrity went “missing in action” for a while.

The reason for the “vanishing act” became readily apparent after RC’s recent appearances on the boob tube and in public. There is something disturbingly different about RC’s physical appearance.

When RC started talking, it became crystal clear. RC’s face does not move at all!

Is that the result of Botox abuse?

Uh-oh!

Sticky fingers

Observers are not that surprised that Scintillating Starlet got embroiled in a messy ménage à trois.

SS has always had the predilection to filch other people’s property.

A former costar, Perky Lass complained that SS had the temerity to run away with a designer trinket. Alas, said item had the real owner’s initials on it.

Perhaps SS’ Romantic Rival should’ve branded her Playboy Spouse with her monogram?

But that would not deter Miss Sticky Fingers, no doubt.

Slap happy

From the Inquirer tabloid Bandera:

Coworkers loathe Flaky Celeb with a passion.

FC can be unpredictable, difficult and meddlesome. Haughty FC would constantly demand unreasonable script revisions—causing onerous delays on the set.

One fine day, Cantankerous Veteran got fed up.

In a highly charged dramatic scene, CV slapped FC a bit too realistically. The rest of the team silently snickered, amused by FC’s misfortune.

Ouch!

Top of talk shows

For those who missed last weekend’s gabfests on TV. (And why we are moved, if we are moved.)

Candy Pangilinan on helping organize a fun necrological service for the late director Wenn Deramas: “Ang bilin niya dapat masaya.” (It was a smash hit, we hope?)

DAWN Zulueta

Dawn Zulueta on Direk Wenn: “I woke up in shock. Wenn is close to my age.” (Everyone was stunned.)

Malou Santos on Direk Wenn: “Malaking bahagi siya ng Star Cinema.” (True!)

PIOLO Pascual

Piolo Pascual on having worked with Wenn Deramas: “On the spot, he can come up with a sequence or script.” (That’s a priceless gift.)

CLAUDINE Barretto

Claudine Barretto on Direk Wenn, who helmed her breakthrough soap, “Mula sa Puso”: “’Di ko kinaya. Nag-break down ako.” (Sob.)

Maine Mendoza on her kiss with Alden Richards on TV: “Sabi ko sa cheeks lang, e!” (Mamatey?)

Alden on his sweet messages for Maine on her birthday: “Walang halong show biz … Everything’s real.” (See above comment.)

MARIAN Rivera

Marian Rivera on looking her best, even after giving birth: “Dapat inaalagaan mo ang anak at asawa mo, pero dapat ’di mo pinapabayaan ang sarili mo.” (Spin-a-win!)

DENNIS Trillo

Dennis Trillo, asked by Heart Evangelista how long he and Jennylyn Mercado have been dating: “Matagal na kaming magkaibigan ni Jen.” (All together now: Kaibigan lang pala, kaibigan lang pala!) TV Patrol, 24 Oras