ON THE FEAST day of Our Lady of Sorrows in September, actress Shamaine Centenera-Buencamino prayed for a sign that her late daughter Julia was at peace.
Specifically, Shamaine asked for an origami crane because Julia had patiently folded “close to a hundred paper cranes” for older sister Delphine’s wedding in April.
Interestingly, the first time she attended a Mass for the dead at the columbary, Shamaine found what she prayed for at Julia’s crypt: an origami crane. “Julia has taught me to completely put my trust in God,” she said.
It was a year of devastating lows and exhilarating highs for Shamaine and her husband, fellow actor Nonie Buencamino.
She acted in two plays, “Juego del Peligro” and “33 Variations”—both showered with rave reviews. He was in the cast of the movie, “Heneral Luna,” a critical and commercial smash.
“This year, Nonie and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary,” she told the Inquirer in a FaceTime interview. “This year, we also had our first wedding in the family. Our eldest, Delphine, got married in April. I also turned 50 this year. Then our daughter Julia died in July.”
She said the last sentence without dramatic flourish—even though the media made a big fuss of the passing of her youngest daughter Julia, who took her own life after struggling with depression, “the invisible war,” for years.
She was only 15.
On the day of the Inquirer interview, Shamaine had a consultation with a psychiatrist—her first appointment.
She shared the results of the “psychological autopsy session” on Facebook to encourage other young people to seek help.
“We learned that Julia had both high IQ and EQ (intellectual and emotional quotients). That was why she was able to hide what she was going through for three years,” Shamaine wrote on Facebook. “She suffered so much but being young, she didn’t want to be perceived as ‘broken’ and thought she could cope on her own.”
Shamaine recalled that Julia had stopped three of her friends from committing suicide, “but she couldn’t save herself.”
God’s ‘different plan’
If there is a lesson she has learned in the tumult and tears, it’s how fleeting life is.
“Life is indeed short,” she told the Inquirer. “We have to live moment by moment. We cannot wait for the future. We have to appreciate what we have in the here and now.”
Like any mother, she had high hopes for Julia, who was not only a budding actress and a mainstay in a popular TV series (ABS-CBN’s “Oh My G”) but a gifted poet and artist.
“I was expecting my child to be around forever,” she said. “I was hoping to watch her grow up. I was looking forward to becoming a grandmother to her children. But God had a different plan.”
She has found strength in her faith
There are mornings she would wake up with a start, startled by the thought that her daughter was gone.
“When I wake up, the realization that my daughter has died shocks me every time,” she said. “The only thing that keeps me strong enough to face the day is going to Mass and lifting everything up to the Lord.”
Spiritual journey
She said there were numerous obstacles in her spiritual journey.
“Even if I declare ‘Thy will be done’ most of the time, like any human being I would still believe in my own power to direct my life, to choose what I want, to will my future,” she said.
Her daughter’s passing taught her otherwise.
“Our life is truly in God’s hands. We just have to accept the difficult trials, illness, death, sadness and trust that He has a good plan for us,” she said. “I have to believe there is a plan, that trials are not a punishment. We just have to do His will.”
Her faith became her anchor. She has been a “cooperator’ in the Catholic personal prelature Opus Dei for the past three years. She has been attending Mass daily, along with regular spiritual studies and retreats.
Strength from family
She has also turned to her husband, Nonie, and their three kids for solace.
TEARS AND TRIUMPH For actress Shamaine Centenera-Buencamino and husband-actorNonie Buencamino, 2015 is a year of tears and triumph. Shamaine has been nominated best actress at the Asia Pacific Screen Awards but she lost her daughter Julia, 15, who took her life
after struggling with depression. RICHARD REYES
“We rely on each other a lot,” she said. “Since we have experienced so much sorrow, the whole family has become closer. We watch out for each other. We give each other strength.”
Tragedy made them grow together as a family.
“We realized how fleeting life is. Sometimes we assume our loved ones will be around all the time. We really need to give importance to each other because we don’t know God’s plan. We have to tell each other ‘I love you’ as often as we can.”
Her family and her faith pulled her through.
“More than anything else, the best thing is to be prepared spiritually,” she said. “Life can never really prepare you for grief. Sometimes we are not even ready for happiness.”
Personal triumph
In a year of tribulations, Shamaine also got a taste of personal
triumph—she was nominated for best actress at the 9th Asia Pacific Screen Awards (Apsa) for her work in Sigrid Andrea Bernardo’s “Lorna.”
The awards ceremony will be held in Brisbane, Australia, on Nov. 26.
This year, she is the only Filipino to be nominated, which gives her the rare chance to be inducted to the Apsa academy, too. Previous Apsa nominees and academy members from the Philippines include actress Nora Aunor and filmmaker Brillante Ma. Mendoza, who both won for “Thy Womb” in 2012.
Real fulfillment
The Asia Pacific Screen Academy, according to its website, is comprised of the “most influential names in film” in the region.
When Shamaine learned of her nomination, she was not her usual
“ecstatic” self.
“I didn’t jump up and down,” she said. Perhaps her daughter’s passing had a sobering effect on her.
“After my daughter’s death, one thing I learned is there are more important things in life,” Shamaine said.
She is no stranger to accolades, having won best supporting actress at the Asian Film Awards for “Niño” in 2012.
“I was thankful,” she said of the Apsa nomination. “Then I saw the list of nominees—from Russia, Iran, Japan, South Korea.” It was a formidable list.
She will travel to Brisbane to attend the ceremony—as a bonus, she gets to bring her husband as her “plus one.” Her aunt, based in Australia, is sponsoring her husband’s trip.
On the Apsa red carpet, she will don a terno by renowned designer Patis Tesoro.
“I’ll travel all the way to San Pablo (Laguna) for [fittings of] my ‘national costume,’ as requested by Apsa,” she said. “The trip [to Patis’ shop] is like therapy for me. Patis is very generous—not only with her time and talent but also with her wisdom. And the gown will be awesome!”
For someone who has seen life from both sides now, as the song goes, Shamaine has become more reflective about awards and show business.
“The fulfillment is not in the awards for your work in a film,” she said. “It is in the process of making the film. The real fulfillment is in seeing, believing and feeling you have given life to a character. Awards are just a bonus. Your validation should come from the people who’ve enjoyed and loved the film.”