‘High ten’ alert, walking on the red corporate and other boob-tube booboos | Inquirer Entertainment
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‘High ten’ alert, walking on the red corporate and other boob-tube booboos

/ 03:58 AM September 26, 2015

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HOST: WITH all of the terrorist and crime threats around, what are you doing about the dangerous situation?

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Guest: We would like to assure the public that we are on top of it—in fact, our law enforcers are on a high ten alert!

(High ten? Is that double a high five? —Oh, you mean heightened alert!)

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* * *

Host: When the disaster struck unexpectedly, anong ginawa ninyo?

Guest: Desperately, we were so scared, sumigaw kami ng malakas—at humingi ng katulong!

(No comment!)

* * *

Host: What is your advice to other young women who dream of becoming a famous beauty queen like you?

Guest: Of course, people have to first see how beautiful you are, so you have to join beauty contests. But, you have to realize that beauty has to go under the skin!

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(—Ouch, that hurts!)

* * *

Host: What do the police have to say about this latest shooting—what are their initial findings?

Guest: Well, initially, they say that the shooter was armed!

(Wow, what an unexpected discovery!)

* * *

Host: What was the most exciting part of your experience of attending your movie’s premiere abroad?

Guest: Oh, no doubt about it, it was when we walked the red corporate!

(Ah, please repeat?)

* * *

Host: What are some of the problems you face in your fire prevention work?

Guest: For one, it’s about the far hydrants.

(Yeah, they’re really too

far. . .—!)

* * *

Host: What was the composition of the audience of your show abroad?

Guest: Well, just about as many women as tao.

(Ah so…)

* * *

Host: How did you learn how to paint?

Guest: It was my mother who thought me.

(Hey, it’s really all in the mind!)

* * *

Host: What makes your beach resort different from the rest of the competition?

Resort owner: For one thing, we have a special greeting—when our guests arrive, they are hit by a gong!

(Wow, that’s really different!)

* * *

Host: I like your house’s combination of office and home—it must be a time saver!

Owner: Oh yes, in the morning, I just go down to my office, as if I’m going to work!

(As if? —How do you earn your keep?)

* * *

Host: Why should we not give public details about our economic arrangements abroad?

Guest: Because it might result in the escaltation of prices.

(No, we don’t want that!)

* * *

Host: How important is your faith to your family?

Guest: Not just to my family, our entire clan—we are all devote Catholics!

(As opposed to—the heathen kind?)

* * *

Host: I notice that you’re very careful about what you say—these days, that’s quite unusual!

Guest: Oh, yes, I make it a point not to open my mouth unless and until it’s precise for me to say!

(That’s so wise of you—we think!)

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