Greying hunk certified chubby chaser

Greying Hunk used to be the fantasy of matrons and gays. Who knew he was a chubby chaser? GH likes ’em in one shape: round. These days, he is often spotted with Curvaceous Entertainer; they’re obviously a couple.

In the past, GH was involved with Alluring Actress and Sultry Star, both pleasantly plump. No wonder GH’s supposed affair with Powerful Insider fizzled out. Big-boned, PI underwent all sorts of procedures to drain the fat out of her body. She didn’t know?

Instant karma

Gifted Newcomer and Talented Performer were eased out of High-profile Project. They fell victim to the whims of Power-tripping Colleague. GN gave up other assignments just to make room for HP.

Karma soon caught up with PC. HP was not only a financial debacle; it was ripped apart by critics. That’s called just desserts. GN and TP didn’t have to lift a finger.

Dire straits

Seasoned Thespian is experiencing cash-flow problems. People in the know blame a string of bad decisions—mainly Longtime Companion, who alienated ST’s loyal kith and kin, who think LC is jinxed.

ST feels lost and defeated, and had to knock on the door of Ardent Supporter. Problem is, AS had been sidelined by a major crisis and was in no position to extend a helping hand.

The divo

Straight from Hollywood:

Fading Performer can upstage the most difficult divas.

FP’s contracts stipulate that his dressing room, wherever he performs, should be painted a certain color. Nothing extraordinary about that rider? Well, he insists that employees at the venue wear clothes of the same color. Plus, no one should leave the premises as long as FP is in the building.

Alas, FP once decided to watch video footage of his just-concluded concert in the dressing room. Poor employees couldn’t go home until the wee hours.

Pushed to the wall

From the Inquirer tabloid Bandera:

Veteran Personality is not amused and is close to going ballistic over Former Partner’s false pronouncements.

Pushed to the wall, the usually reticent VP is threatening to reveal the real reason that his relationship with FP hit the skids.

Will VP confirm persistent rumors linking FP with Influential Celebrity? VP’s children with FP will surely be scarred by such a tell-all. Hell hath no fury…

Top of the Talk Shows

For those who missed last weekend’s TV gabfests (and why we are moved, if we are moved):

Mystica on why she dared Marlene Aguilar, who bad-mouthed Pope Francis on Facebook, to a fistfight: “Hindi lang si Pope ang sinabotahe niya, eh—the whole of humanity. To defend the Catholic people and those who respect Pope Francis, umentrada ako.” (Superhero ang peg?)

Mystica on the terms of the fight: “Ang kundisyon niya, [indoors], sa Elorde Gym… Ako naman, street fight.” (Sa outer space na lang.)

Mystica on Marlene blocking her on Facebook: “Who’s the coward now? [If] you continue doing this, ewan ko kung saan pupunta ang soul mo.” (Let’s not go there.)

Mark Bautista on what he learned in London, where he starred in “Here Lies Love”: “Natutunan kong maging independent, especially sa pag-iingat ng pera; paglalaba, pagluluto.” (Sa isip, salita at gawa?)

Marian Rivera, asked about the first thing she did after being wed to Dingdong Dantes: “Ki-niss ko siya! Sabi ko, ‘Good morning!’” (Hulaan n’yo kung ano ang sagot ni Dong.)

Dingdong on the new things he discovered about Marian: “Akala ko, ako na ’yung malakas kumain sa ’ming dalawa. Pero medyo malakas din siya kumain!” (Ang lalim naman nu’n, ’di namin maabot.)

Angelica Panganiban doesn’t want fireworks when her man proposes.

Angelica Panganiban on the possibility of John Lloyd Cruz proposing to her soon: “Sabi ko sa kanya ayoko na may fireworks…Ayoko na maraming tao. Ako daw talaga ’yung nag-direct ng proposal?” (Forget the flash mob.)

John Lloyd Cruz feels the pressure to get hitched.

John Lloyd, asked if he feels pressured that fans want him to get married soon: “Maski sa sarili ko, nape-pressure ako! I’m 31, and not getting any younger… but it’s good to know your priorities.” (Sali-saliwa ang sagot, pero sige lang.)

John Lloyd, asked if he sees himself having a family: “Napaka-personal naman ng question mo…” (Ayan, napikon.)

John Lloyd, asked if Angelica has to wait longer: “That’s a more personal question.” (Kami na lang ang sasagot: Yes.)

Julia Montes on people mistaking her for being over 20: “Dati sabi ko, grabe, ang tanda ng tingin nila sa ’kin. Now I take it as a compliment.” (Don’t!)

Zsa Zsa Padilla on her brief courtship with boyfriend Conrad Onglao: “Pag ganitong edad ka na, ayaw mo nang maghintay nang matagal.” (Ah.)

(Startalk, The Buzz)