Germatologist, hard killers and other boob-tube booboos

HOST: Do you have a favorite actress?

Guest: Oh, yes.

Host: Who is she?

Guest: Angelina Julie!

(Ah, please repeat for the second twice?)

* * *

Host: Did the firemen say what was the probable cause of the fire?

Field reporter: Ah, I think it was electrical failure, or something.

(Wow, thanks for the great reporting!)

* * *

Host: Do the cops already have a suspect in the crime?

Another reporter: Ah, they think it was a hard killer.

(Isa ka pa!)

* * *

Host: Why do you love dancing?

Guest: Oh, it gives me a very special and beautiful feeling—when you dance, you’re flowing like a water!

(—Let’s not get carried away, shall we?)

* * *

Host: Anong tinatanim nyo sa farm nyo?

Guest: Ah, salad po.

(Wow, may kasama nang dressing? Yum!)

* * *

Host: What should teenagers do about a severe case of pimples?

Guest: The best solution is for them not to rely on home remedies, but to go to a germatologist!

(No, the last thing they need is—more germs!)

* * *

Host: What do new graduates need to have a good work and career after college?

Guest: Above all, confidence—it really goes along the way!

(Ah, come again?)

* * *

Host: What can you tell us about the storm condition where you’re at right now?

Field reporter: Oh, the storm is really hitting us hard—the rain is very wet and the lightning is bright!

(Now, can you tell us something we didn’t already know?)

***

Host: Your pageant is holding its finals next week?

Guest: That’s right, we will soon know kung sino ang dapat tanggalin as winner!

(Ah, you mean tanghalin, don’t you?)

***

Host: Aren’t you worried about rumors of possible plots against the government?

Guest: Not really, they’re too vague to take seriously. There should be more solid evidence of the allegedly stabilization plot!

(—Baliktad yata!)

More intestines?

Host: What will it take to really bring down the crime rate?

Guest: Maybe not enough people know about our anticrime campaign—so, we have to intestify the campaign!

(That’s right, add more guts—intestines!)

* * *

Host: What do you think about the embattled mayor—is he guilty?

Guest: Oh, no, I think he is a straight and narrow!

(Quote, unquote!)

* * *

Host: If you have any reactions to the issues we discussed today, just contact us.

Cohost: Yes, just contact our program—if you can call it that.

(Come to think of it—!)