Fake romance for closeted couple

ANDI Eigenmann is sure she can take good care of her daughter.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, here are three stories of dubious romance.

From the Inquirer tabloid Bandera:

Remember Closeted Entertainer, the cosmetics junkie? To quash persistent gay rumors, CE conspired with Gifted Performer, who pretended to be his girlfriend. GP played along because she had gender issues of her own.

CE and GP are sticky-sweet in public. But away from the stage and prying eyes, CE and GP stay in their own corners in the communal dressing room (they’re both in this popular show) and pretty much ignore one another.

Expiry date

Pretty Starlet thought Cute Hunk was determined to win her heart and, in fact, CH was initially gung-ho in his pursuit.

HEART Evangelista says Sen. Chiz Escudero just has to ask.

Then, CH suddenly vanished.

Disappointed, PS blamed their hectic schedules: “We didn’t have enough time for each other.”

She should realize that CH’s interest had an expiry date. He stopped the wooing when promotions for his project ended.

In the blood

Mole is certain that Handsome Hunk and his relative, Cute Newbie, have one more thing in common (aside from matinee-idol good looks).

For years, HH has been parrying rumors questioning his sexuality. Turns out, CN’s gender is similarly suspect.

CN seems much too swishy for comfort. Still, he made a big show of his purported relationship with Statuesque Celeb.

That affair is going nowhere, insists a Rushes spy, who is sure CN is more interested in fellow hotties. Just like HH.

TADO Jimenez was naturally witty, on- and off-cam, says a friend. Photo courtesy of Mon Confiado

Good looks and questionable sexuality run in the blood! Verde ang dugo, as they say.

Blockbuster

Glamorous Beauty was supposed to meet with Powerful Personality. At the last minute, the meeting was canceled, much to the dismay of GB’s Staunch Supporter.

A mole claimed that SS’ Vociferous Nemesis blocked GB’s appointment with PP with the help of Newsmaking Relative. Just like that, GB’s name was erased from PP’s calendar.

VN can also stand for vindictive and nasty! SS’ responded by arranging a meeting between GB and Influential Insider, NR’s rival.

Consummate pro

From the Inquirer Radio program “Inquirer Entertainment” (dzIQ 990 AM, Monday to Friday, 3 to 5 p.m.):

JACLYN Jose understands her daughter when it comes to affairs of the heart.

Remember Brazen Beauty, the incorrigible party girl? She turned out to be a consummate pro, in the strictest sense.

BB arrived for a show three hours ahead of the call time. That was because she wanted to be thoroughly prepared. She asked for a copy of the script and buckled down to memorizing her spiels. She also meddled in the music scoring department, suggesting a song for her segment: Mariah Carey’s “Hero.” BB is OC!

Top of the Talk Shows

For those who missed these TV gabfests (and why we are moved, if we are moved):

• 

  JULIA Clarete admires late pal Tado’s talent. inquirer photo

  Julia Clarete on friend Tado Jimenez, who perished in a bus accident in Bontoc: “Si Tado, naturally witty ’yan on- and off-cam. Matalas, mabilis, magaling mag-isip.” (Another good one gone. Rest in peace.)

• Vhong Navarro, asked if he was weary of the things happening around him following the mauling incident: “Buhay ko po ang nakataya dito, buhay ng pamilya ko, ng mga anak ko.” (Stereotypically dramatic, but he’s got a point.)

• Vhong on the girlfriend he cheated on: “Gaya po ng paulit-ulit kong sinasabi sa kanya, ako ang may kasalanan … Sobrang mahal po ako, mahal na mahal.” (When you count your blessings, count that girlfriend at least a hundred times.)

• Wally Bayola to viewers, when he returned to “Eat Bulaga!” five months after his sex video scandal: “Sorry po … Sana bigyan niyo po ako ng isa pang pagkakataon para maayos ang buhay ko.” (And here we are, big suckers for drama. Seriously.)

• Jose Manalo, asked what he learned from what Wally went through: “Ingatan, alagaan natin kung ano ang ibinigay sa ’tin.” (Haaaaay, naku!)

• Regine Velasquez, asked about her most memorable experience with her father, Mang Gerry, who passed away recently: “’Yung mga defeat moments namin [sa singing contests]. Kapag natatalo ako, lagi niyang sinasabi, ‘Ay luto ’yan!’ Pero ipo-point out niya na, ‘Pero alam mo, medyo nag-flat ka talaga dito [sa parteng ’to] … Pero luto pa rin!’” (That’s a funny, and precious, one.)

• Regine, asked about her coming concert, “Voices of Love”: “Ang iniisip ko, he’ll be there; otherwise, I can’t sing properly. Ayoko munang umiyak this week kasi mauubos ang boses ko. After na lang ng concert!” (Of course, he’ll be there.)

• Mang Gerry in one of his last interviews, asked what his wish for Regine was: “Sana magkaroon pa siya ng isang baby.”  (O ayan, now na!)

• Heart Evangelista, asked what boyfriend Sen. Chiz Escudero gave her for her coming birthday: “Trip to Hong Kong … Hindi siya ’yung ma-shopping. Pag bumibili nga ako ng sapatos na may kamalahan, tinatanong niya kung hindi ako nakokonsensiya. Sinasabi ko, ‘Not really, sorry!’” (Well, this is… enlightening.)

• Heart on Lolit Solis saying that
• Sen. Chiz isn’t as good-looking as her exes: “Crush na crush ko siya! Nakita ko siya once, naka-shirt at shorts  … Guwapong-gwapo ako sa kanya nun. Naalala ko tumutugtog nun ’yung ‘The Lady in Red’ and after that, I listened to it over and over!” (Love, as they say…)

• Heart, asked at what age she planned to get married: “Tomorrow!” (What age, not what day! Ayan, love also takes one’s brain, este, breath away.)

• Jaclyn Jose on rumors that her daughter, Andi Eigenmann, squanders her earnings: “Mas maraming pera ’yun kaysa sa ’kin. Wala siyang ginagastos sa bahay. I pay for everything. Ni hindi nagse-share ’yan sa electricity, kahit ano… kuripot. Pero alam ko naman nag-iipon siya para sa pag-aaral ni Ellie (Andi’s daughter).” (As well she should.)

• Andi on Ellie: “Technically walang father si Ellie kasi ’di pa ako married at wala pang nag-a-adopt sa kanya. ’Yung biological father naman niya, I don’t think he even wants to meet her … Walang help or acknowledgement galing sa kanila , which is perfectly fine!” (Good riddance, right? She has lots of uncles and grandfathers.)

• Jaclyn about not meddling in Andi’s love life: “Na-in love din ako. Bakit ko siya pipigilian? Ang sarap-sarap nun!” (Spin a win!)

 (Startalk)