QUIZ SHOW host: What wall once divided East and West Berlin?
Contestant: The Great Wall of China!
(Uh, no, not that wall!)
***
Host: How is the flooding situation now in your town—have the floods gone down?
Guest: It’s not improving, but it’s better.
(Ah, make up your mind?)
***
Host: What have you learned from this crisis?
Guest: That unity is so important in solving anything!
Host: What do you hope for now?
Guest: Na sana maging lechon din ito sa iba!
(We hope so, too—yum!)
***
Host: When do you find time to attend all your singing and dancing and acting classes?
Guest: After my work sa trabaho.
(Work na, trabaho pa? We’re impressed!)
***
Host: You were sick, but you still kept working?
Guest: Yes, kasi if I stop, my income will be severed!
(Of course, nobody would want that to happen…)
***
Host: This is a special TV show for you? Why?
Guest: It’s really special, because it’s my first role as a comedy.
(—You know what? You’re really funny!)
***
Host: What do you want to say to the alleged criminal?
Guest: Stop hiding, turn yourself in, so that the proper files can be charged!
(—Ah, baliktad yata…)
***
Host: What do you want to do next after winning your title?
Guest: God willing, I want to pursue into modeling!
(Well, pursue away!)
***
Host: I’m so excited about your next fashion show—when will it be?
Guest: On September twen!
(When is that?!)
***
Host: Why did your organization decide to sponsor a fun run, in particular?
Guest: It’s very good for our product, because most Filipinos very conscious about healthy!
(Ah, so…)
***
Host: What do you think is the meaning of the word “kindling”?
Guest: Ah, I think it means—a relative!
Host: Oh, you mean, like “my next of kindling”?
Guest: Yes, that’s right!
(—Uh, no, that’s wrong.)
***
Host: Did you go out on a formal date, or did you just meet at the moviehouse by accident?
Guest: Well, how can I say, let’s just say na lang, as far as that, wala kaming prior.
(Ano daw?!)