Courage and acceptance

ABAYA. Her friendship brought nothing but light and laughter.

True-blue friends in the film biz are so hard to find that I count mine on fewer than 10 fingers. One of those digits “belongs” to Marilou Diaz-Abaya. She has permanent “ownership” because, through our decades-long friendship, she has brought nothing but light and laughter and a lot of good times into my life—due to which, my cup runneth over!

In the process, Marilou had also gifted my students and workshoppers with her wit, generosity and wisdom, granting them the rare privilege of visiting her location shoots and learning on the job and on the run, as it were, priceless lessons not just about filmmaking, but about life, as well.

Creation

That’s the way Marilou was—the movies were her life, but her life was her insightful, artistic creation, too. And she generously and unstintingly shared those life-affirming and ennobling insights with anyone who cared—or dared—to listen!

Of my many involvements with Marilou, one protracted moment in time stands out—the three weeks we spent in Japan in 2001, when she asked me to join her as she was honored, both as artist and as peace activist, with the much-coveted international Fukuoka Prize for Culture and the Arts.

Our long sojourn began most traumatically, with the 9/11 World Trade Center attack taking place, live on TV, the very dawn after we arrived in Fukuoka! But, we resolutely forged on, attending the glittering awards rites, and savoring the exceptional Asian films showcased in the annual Fukuoka Film Festival.

It was only then that I discovered one of Marilou’s secrets—that her films had been featured in the prestigious festival, to consistent acclaim, for many years—and that the film fest’s iconic founder, Tadao Sato, was her beloved and loving father in the world of cinema!

In the days that followed, I realized that Marilou’s movies had a strong following in Japan, whereupon I persuaded her to conceptualize a film project deeply rooted in the “Japanese” side to her persona. This shared affinity to all things Japanese turned out to be one of our unexpected bonds, and we spent many happy days and nights at the Kabuki theater, savored Japanese cuisine of the most exotic sort, and shopped in tiny woodblock and manga art stores—completely copacetic partners in rhyme and crime!

Unexpected delights

Then, we went on to Tokyo, where other unexpected delights of discovery lay in store—starting with the Tokyo Film Festival, followed by the screening of Marilou’s “Jose Rizal” biopic at a celebrated venue for international art films, where it played to great acclaim for many weeks.

To drum up public interest in the movie’s screening schedule, its owners arranged for a series of interviews, during which we saw media people’s deep respect for Marilou as a filmmaker of international repute. She was so self-effacing that she made no loud noises about it at home, but it was a big deal over there. The clincher was when a long and detailed interview of her was printed in a Japanese newspaper with millions of readers.

In addition, Marilou found time to interact with Filipinos living and working in Tokyo, as well as to take me on sightseeing and culture-imbibing sorties to outlying areas. At the end our unforgettable tour came the “crowning” glory—a day-long visit to the headquarters of Soka Gakkai, where Marilou was so lavishly honored that she said she felt like she was the “queen” of the Philippines—so, what did that make me, her king-consort?

That was the way it was when you were Marilou’s friend—one wonderful experience led to an even more amazing encounter, until you stopped speculating about what was coming up next, and just took it all in!

But, even without those spectacular flourishes, my friendship with Marilou was a constant delight, because she was always prepared to be delighted!

Even when the trials and pains came, her love for life, and God, shone like a beacon, not just for herself, but for all of us who witnessed and were powerfully moved by her courage—and even more luminous acceptance.