Yen Santos opens up on draining experience with a ‘controlling’ ex
Yen Santos. Image: Screengrab from YouTube/Yen Santos
Without mentioning any names, Yen Santos has spoken up about her past relationship with an ex-boyfriend, whom she described as a “controlling” partner who “drained” the life out of her.
Santos opened up about her experiences with an ex-boyfriend she refused to name on a YouTube vlog on Wednesday, July 23, when asked about what happened in her “last relationship.”
The actress was previously in a controversial relationship with Paolo Contis, which was confirmed by the latter in January 2023. Breakup rumors hounded the ex-couple in May 2024 after eagle-eyed netizens noticed that they unfollowed each other on Instagram.
“Napakalaking blessing na natapos na ‘yun. Malaking blessing na nagising ako sa nightmare na ‘yun and I walked away, kasi hindi talaga worth it. It wasn’t worth wasting my time, my energy sa someone na cino-control ka, mina-manipulate ka,” she said.
“That kind of life drains you, and you lose yourself in the process. So hindi mo gugustuhin ang ganung klaseng buhay, and minsan, the most powerful thing you can do is walk away and set yourself free,” she continued.
(It was a huge blessing that it ended. It’s a big blessing that I woke up from that nightmare, and I walked away. Because it really wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth wasting my time and energy with someone who controls and manipulates you. That kind of life drains you, and you lose yourself in the process. You don’t want that kind of life. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is walk away and set yourself free.)
Santos claimed that her ex-boyfriend treated her differently in the beginning, until she eventually realized his true colors. “Siyempre sa part na ‘yun, nahulog ako. Naniwala ako sa lahat ng mga pinakita noong una kahit gaano ko i-justify ‘yung dati. Pero you know deep down, may mga taong nasaktan sa maling choices mo and it was wrong.”
“Para sa’kin, ‘yung gan’ung klaseng tao, matatauhan ka talaga kapag gan’un ka tinatrato,” she continued. “Ang mahalaga, tapos na. At mas maayos ang takbo ng buhay mo ngayon.”
(Of course, I fell for him. I believed in everything he showed me, and I justified a lot of things. But you knew deep down that you hurt others with your wrong choices, and it was wrong. For me, you will learn a lot from that kind of person, especially when he treated you that way. What’s important is that it’s done. Your life is better now.)
The “Halik” star didn’t disclose whom she particularly hurt in her remarks. However, her romance with Contis was controversial as the latter was allegedly accused of being unfaithful to his ex-girlfriend, LJ Reyes, with Santos.
Lessons from her ex
When Santos was asked about the lessons she learned from her ex, she said people who claim that they “love you right away” and do “big gestures” are a “red flag.”
“Isa sa natutunan ko ay kapag ang isang tao, mahal ka na agad, big gestures agad ang ginagawa sa’yo, noong una, akala ko nakakakilig. Pero hindi, red flag ‘yun. Love-bombing ‘yun,” she said. “Takbo ka. Kasi hindi siya totoo sa sarili niya. Hindi love ‘yun. Part ‘yun ng manipulation.”
(One of the things I learned is that when someone claims that they love you right away and do big gestures, you would think it makes you giddy at first, but it’s not. It’s a red flag. It’s a form of love-bombing. Run. They are not true to themselves. That’s not love. It’s part of their manipulation.)
The “Halik” star added that if a relationship is to be wrong from the beginning, it is already wrong. “Kapag pumasok ka sa sitwasyon na ‘yun, umpisa pa lang, mali na, mali talaga siya.”
“Kasi alam mo sa sarili mo na may mga tao kang nasaktan,” she continued. “Kasi noong una, jina-justify mo na, okay ‘to, masaya kami, pero may part sa sarili mo na hindi, alam mo na may nasasaktan.”
(When you enter a situation that is wrong from the beginning, it is already wrong. You know to yourself that you hurt people. Because when you justify something at first, saying that it’s okay and you’re happy — but a part of you is saying that it’s not — you knew that you already hurt others.)
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This led to Santos making a public apology to the people she had hurt in the past.
“Para sa mga taong nasaktan ko noong panahon na ‘yun, I am so sorry. Wala po akong excuse doon. Mali po talaga ako. Nagkamali po ako (To the people I’ve hurt at that time, I am so sorry. I have no excuse. I was really wrong. I made a mistake),” she said.
At some point during the video, the actress added that she doesn’t have anything to say to her ex.
Contis confirmed that he was single in a November 2024 interview with Boy Abunda, although he opted to keep the details about his relationship with Santos “personal.” The exes have since remained mum on when they broke up.
The actress previously teased her showbiz comeback in May 2025, although she didn’t reveal the details of her upcoming project. /mr
