Mental wellness an ongoing journey for Louise delos Reyes

Louise delos Reyes —VIVA ARTISTS AGENCY

(Content warning: suicide)

There was a point in Louise delos Reyes’ life when people thought she had it all together: She was surrounded by friends, jobs came in regularly. In front of fans, she gave nothing less than a smile.

But behind the cameras, she was hurting, so much so that she ended up harboring suicidal thoughts.

“I had this inner struggle that I was never enough and never would be. All I could think of then was, ‘How can I end this?’ I was in so much pain. It became stagnant … I couldn’t feel happiness or fulfillment in whatever I did,” she told reporters at a press conference for Viva Films’ upcoming thriller “Pasahero,” which opens on Oct. 9.

Fortunately, with professional help, faith, fortitude and support from her loved ones, Louise now finds herself in a “better headspace.”

“I’m very thankful that despite those thoughts, I still saw a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, as if reminding me that there are still people who genuinely love me,” said the 32-year-old actress, who also credited her boyfriend, Jino, for being her anchor. “I’m an empath. He balances my sensitivities.”

“The person facing you right now is like a new version,” she added. “I want to hug my old self because she didn’t have love for herself.”

Louise knows very well that the journey towards healing or mental wellness isn’t a linear process. Bad days are inevitable. But the good thing, she said, is that she now feels better equipped to handle those.

Not alone

“It’s a long battle … I used to get very emotional. Now, I’m more critical [in how I handle things]. I let myself be during days I feel off. I still get panic attacks. It’s something I will never truly understand. But I acknowledge it … I pray,” she said.

September is Suicide Prevention Month. If she were to give a message to people with similar experiences, Louise hopes to remind them that “you’re not alone.”

“We all have our inner demons… We have to be brave. But if you feel like you’re not brave enough, try to convince yourself—as I have—that you’re strong, not only for yourself, but for the people you love,” she said.

Directed by Roman Perez Jr.,“Pasahero” explores the so-called bystander effect, a social psychological theory that suggests that people are less likely to help victims or intervene in crisis situations in the presence of others.

Louise plays Michelle, a fresh graduate seeking work in Manila. But on a late night train commute, she gets assaulted by a masked man. Not one of the seven witnesses steps forward.

“Sadness, tears come from hurt. But fear can come from so many things, so I find it more challenging,” she said. “There are a lot of twists and turns you can take in the scenes.”

Note: Help is available. Call the National Center for Mental Health Crisis Hotline at 0966 351-4518.