Runaway model, watching the clothes and other boob-tube booboos

HOST: You have such a busy schedule—so many accomplishments! Paano mo mina-manage ang time mo?

Guest: Oh, it’s easy—gumagawa po ako ng time management!

(Wow, thank you, ha?)

* * *

Host: How did your last concert do? Did many people watch?

Guest: Oh, it was a sold-out!

(Do tell!)

* * *

Host: I heard you were sick. Are you OK now?

Guest: Yes, I’m OK. (Coughs)

Host: Are you sure? Hindi na maganda ang ubo mo, ha?

(Hmmm, bago ’yan, a—may ubo palang maganda?)

Exposé

Host: Your recent exposé has been questioned by some people. What can you say to assure them that you’re telling the truth?

Guest: All I can assure is, my sources are all very liable.

(Oops, now we’re even more worried!)

* * *

Host: What is your dream and ambition in the fashion world?

Guest: I want to be a famous international runaway model!

(What a difference an extra letter makes!)

* * *

Host: What months are you busiest in your business?

Guest: July ang peakest month of the year namin.

(Peakest month? Please translate.)

* * *

Host: What do we need to do to improve our economy?

Guest: We should all be more coinscious about the stock market.

(Not to mention being conscious about those extra—coins!)

* * *

Host: What about people who are dieting, what can you advise them?

Guest: Eat only what is not heavy or fatting!

(Fatting? Burp!)

* * *

Host: Where do you practice your songs—at home?

Guest: Yes, I practice while my mom looks and watches the clothes.

(While they wash themselves?)

* * *

Host: Are you excited about your new movie?

Guest: Yes, I’m so excited—because it’s my first role as a comedy!

(So, why aren’t we laughing?)