Home for the Agent, any minute by now and other boob-tube booboos
SOME fans of Boob-Tube Booboos have “made lambing“ for a “special Valentine’s Day edition” of our TV boners. Happy to oblige—here’s our latest ha-ha-harvest:
Host: You looked sad at the birthday party of (name of starlet). May problema ba between the two of you?
Guest: No, no problem—I was tired from shooting and pictorial, so I was not in my usual self, that’s all.
(Pero OK ka na ngayon, ganoon?)
* * *
Host: Why do you call this dessert your “Valentine Special for hungry lovers”?
Guest chef: Well, obviously, this is a really Valentine because it is raid!
(A “really raid” on Valentine’s? —Oh, red!)
* * *
Host: What did you win in the beauty pageant?
Guest: Miss Gown.
(Whee!)
* * *
Host: What about you? What title?
Other beauty: The Best Swimsuit Goes To . . .!
(—Said the Best Swimsuit, quote-unquote.)
* * *
Host: Is it true that your grandmother was the one who brought you up after your parents separated?
Guest: Yes, I love her so much and so grateful.
Host: Where is she now?
Guest: Sa Home for the Agent.
(Absolutely no comment!)
* * *
Host: What do you want to say to the graduates of your workshop?
Guest: Don’t worry, you soon will know the worth of your whatever.
(How—inspiring! We think…)
* * *
Host: What is the secret of this amazing hairstyle?
Stylist: The secret is the many hair extensions I used on my model, which is made up of so many synthetic Japanese!
(Ah, did something get lost in translation?)
* * *
Host: To whom did you dedicate your victory in the prestigious contest?
Guest: I dedicated it to a bad family.
(A bad family?! —Oh, the Abad family!)
* * *
Host: Why do you think the judges voted you as the winner of the pageant?
Guest: Siguro, nasarapan sila sa face ko.
(Kami rin—yum, yum!)
* * *
Host: By when do you plan to open your new resort?
Guest: Oh, any minute by now!
(That soon, huh?)
* * *
Host: Is it true that your mother passed away recently?
Guest: Yes, that’s true.
Host: Condolence. —How old was she when she died?
Guest: She died of the age of 46.
(You should have told her not to look at the calendar.)
* * *
Host: Do you have anything else to say before we bid our viewers good night?
Guest: I just want to say that it was unbelievably a pleasure talking to you!
(A, ganoon, ha? Well, it was not a pleasure talking to you, too!)
