Stunning star survives botched procedure

CARLA Abellana wants an end to the word war with ex-boyfriend Geoff Eigenmann

Stunning Thespian entrusted her exquisite face to Unscrupulous Aesthetician. The disastrous result almost ruined her career.

ST’s face ended up swollen and distorted. She rushed to a respected doctor, who mercifully fixed the problem.

Back to her gorgeous self, ST suspects that UA used fake stem cells. Now, she is a lot more careful about cosmetic enhancements.

Self-inflicted paranoia

Assuming, much?

Hunky Newbie and Pretty Starlet were in a coffee place when a group of reporters happened by.

BEA ALONZO is ready for onscreen catfight

HN became paranoid, scared that the writers would ask about Hot Sibling, who’s embroiled in nasty intrigues.

(Well-meaning Adviser earlier counseled HN to steer clear of HS’ controversies.)

Alas, the newshounds weren’t interested in either HN or HS. Still, HN pretended not to see them.

Diva nation

Alluring Star used to be down-to-earth and humble.

KATHRYN Bernardo assures lookalike that her fans are not war freaks

After her big move to another studio (which is overrun with prima donnas), she changed—for the worse.

When she became the apple of Top Exec’s eye, AS morphed into an ill-tempered diva. She raises hell when reporters ask “personal” questions unrelated to the project or product she is currently promoting. Uh-oh.

War of mistresses

It was ugly. Witnesses were rattled when Seasoned Beauty crossed paths with Controversial Star at a lavish event.

That was no accident. SB had been raring to confront (and embarrass) CS, who had fooled around with her Longtime Lover.

SB bared her fangs all right, but CS was just as feisty. It was a catfight for the ages, a match made in hell.

MARICAR Reyes’ soap skirmish with costar will be more intense. ROMY HOMILLADA

Coping with a rival

From the Inquirer tabloid Bandera:

Lovely Star turned green with envy when Beautiful Rival’s fans posted on the Net photos of their idol’s luxury bags and shoes.

Piqued, LS posted snapshots of her own designer duds.

When BR and Handsome Beau hogged headlines because of their blooming romance, LS got antsy and hastily arranged a dinner date with High-profile Sweetheart.

Let’s just say LS and HS ignored the food altogether and were more engrossed in PDA (public display of affection) to the max!

Top of Bandera

This week’s top show biz news in  the Inquirer tabloid Bandera (and why we are moved, if we are moved):

JUDY ANN Santos and Ryan Agoncillo are serious about a new baby

Carla Abellana kay Geoff Eigenmann: Tama na! Ayoko na! (Kami rin!)

Huwag naman sanang magkatotoo ang hula; nakakatakot kapag si Kris Aquino ang pinatakbong Pangulo sa 2016! (No comment.)

Gabby Eigenmann takot na takot mawalan ng trabaho. (Who isn’t?)

Angelica Panganiban, John Lloyd Cruz parehong maramot: At least tahimik kami! (A lesson well-learned.)

Judy Ann Santos, Ryan Agoncillo kinakarir uli ang paggawa ng baby. (Well, it will be a bigger “career” if they succeed.)

Binisita sa bahay para bigyan ng moral support; Juday: “Pang-unawa at dasal ang kailangan ngayon ni Ate Sharon (Cuneta)!” (Join kami diyan, Mega!)

ANGELICA Panganiban and John Lloyd Cruz prefer a quiet life

Say mo Billy Crawford, Nikki Gil gumaganti kay Coleen Garcia. (Huwag na lang, sayang oras.)

Kasalang Marian Rivera-Dingdong Dantes may isyu sa simbahan. (Just to keep us all tuned in.)

Kathryn Bernardo sa fans ni Nadine Lustre: Hindi war freak ang mga KathNiel! (Well, well. Some fans could really fool us.)

Tanggap nang hindi bagay maging sirena; Kim Chiu: Gusto ko sana fantasy naman, ’yung may super power! (Ngek, andun ka pa rin, girl?)

Pacman natatakot para sa kaluluwa ng ina; Mommy Dionisia walang ipinagkaiba sa mga matronang tambay sa gay bar. (Harsh!)

Paolo Bediones ayaw nang panoorin sa newscast ng TV5: Nagkakasala lang kami! (Owss? Over.)

Na-shock ang milyong followers sa Twitter, pati si Angel Locsin; Anne Curtis: Na-realize ko na sobrang guwapo at super hot si Luis Manzano! (Ayan na—ano kaya ang next project nila?)

Bea Alonzo, Maricar Reyes tatalbugan ang sapakan nina Angel at Maja Salvador. (Yun ang goal?! Shaks.)

Puro kasinungalingan ang akusasyon ng ex-wife; Derek Ramsay: Oo, may anak ako pero di ko po siya iniwan at pinabayaan! (Serious ito; pass muna kami!)