Only ‘totally abject’ celebrity apologies will do

DEEN. Gets flak for her controversial remark.

In the distant show biz past, erring stars used to be able to get away with “murder”—even of the literal sort. Popular ’30s comedian Fatty Arbuckle’s unwelcome advances resulted in the death of a hapless fan, and yet he was able to avoid the proverbial hangman’s noose.

Less extreme examples of stellar hanky-panky gone unpunished include the still controversial death by “drowning” of a top female star, purportedly at the hands of her equally popular and insanely jealous spouse, due to her real or imagined fling with a younger male comer!

Stars were generally impervious to public ire and scorn (with particularly glaring exceptions like Ingrid Bergman, Charlie Chaplin and Sophia Loren) because their home studios, who bound them to ironclad contracts, also protected their stellar image and reputation.

They did this by releasing only “official” publicity that enhanced the luminaries’ “star value,” while their real-life scandals were kept out of the papers by “cooperative” press people who were “persuaded” to look the other way—and even participate in the coverup!

Social media

These days, however, the rise of the gossip mags and radio shows, TV show biz “magazine” programs, paparazzi and the social media has made it much more difficult—in fact, well nigh impossible—for erring stars not to get found out, forced to account and atone for their sins in the blinding glare of the global media, and eat their slice of bitter humble pie.

Thus, celebrities who fail to live public and private lives of absolute perfection are now forced to formally apologize for their steamy and smarmy transgressions.

The entertainment and social media are rife with exposés of luminaries charged with all sorts of sins, from making unwelcome sexual advances to ingesting all sorts of illegal substances, and DUI (driving under the influence of liquor) episodes that sometimes result in tragic accidents.

A recent twist has been the increased notoriety of stars who have been charged with less than responsible behavior and speech, like Mel Gibson’s recorded tirades against his supposed loved ones, David Letterman’s penchant for enticing female assistants to go out on dates with him, Martha Stewart’s sub rosa financial gambits—and, just last month, culinary icon Paula Deen’s admitted use of the biggest no-no of them all, the “N” word.

Sponsors

In Paula’s case, the flak over her thoughtless and perhaps even racist remark has led to her being dropped as a talent by the Cooking Network, and the flight from her shows of many of her top sponsors, resulting in the loss of millions of dollars.

Suddenly repentant, the once high-flying and sassy TV chef came up with a literally “half-baked” apology that was partly abject—but also hit back at her detractors.

The apology was thus deemed insincere and self-serving, and failed to save her media empire’s sinking ship, so she came up with a more emotional “take two”—which similarly failed to convince viewers, because it was laced with distractingly accented, overly defensive  declarations like “Ah is what ah is!”

To make things worse, she promised to give the “Today” show an exclusive on her second apology, but failed to show up for her scheduled interview with Matt Lauer—so, when she finally appeared a couple of days later, he really socked it to her!

Much too late did Paula realize what other “sinning” luminaries know only too well: These days, when it comes to celebrity apologies, only “totally abject” mea culpas will do!