Famous pair’s project an epic failure abroad

JUDY Anne gets mad when pushed.

Pretty Star and Handsome Consort are the current toasts of Tinseltown. When they headlined a recent show abroad, however, PS and HC realized they needed to work double-time on their popularity among overseas compatriots.

PS and HC traveled all the way to a faraway land for a show that flopped—“big time,” according to a well-placed mole. Apparently, tickets were deemed much too expensive by most Pinoys there. They would not part with hard-earned moolah for so-called “talents” who urgently needed to enroll in singing and dancing lessons.

Be careful about wizened Pinoys who have no patience for on-the-job trainees.

ANGELICA Panganiban and Piolo Pascual’s soap to end its run.

Rated: Epic fail!

Messy production

High-Profile Entrepreneur terminated a deal with Local Studio that rented out to LS a posh venue for tapings.

He was shocked when he saw the place trashed. For starters, a spy wailed, “The crew dragged heavy equipment across the floor, ruining the carpet. A glass panel in the foyer was shattered.”

Let’s not even mention what happened to the toilets.

Demanding diva

Workers at a salon are scared of Character Actress, who can’t seem to shake off the mean-spirited divas she portrays onscreen.

A stylist refused to deal with CA for fear of incurring the prima donna’s wrath. As a result, CA threw a hissy fit. The hapless stylist got a scolding from CA and from the Big Bosses.

JENNYLYN Mercado, with son Jazz, is one hot mama on a mag cover.

Turned out, CA complained to BBs! CA is one tough customer, on the set and off.

Drunken diva

Heard on the Radyo Inquirer program “Kliq Showbiz” (dzIQ 990 AM, Monday to Friday, 3 to 5 p.m.):

Staffers of a popular series are gossiping about Veteran Performer who, they say, has a  drinking problem.

VP supposedly asks the crew for a few bottles of beer before each take, “to get in the mood.”

Why should they raise a fuss when VP delivers the goods, sober or not?

In fact, VP can do the job, even with eyes half-closed, better than any of her fully conscious costars can.

DS for dire straits

From the Inquirer tabloid Bandera:

MAJA Salvador tells beau to hang on.

Disturbed Star is spiraling out of control, and friends are worried. Notorious for throwing tantrums, DS has been losing out on plum assignments.

A source insists that DS needs to keep busy, to address cash-flow problems. DS previously turned to Influential Benefactor for help in paying utility bills.

Top of the Bandera

The top show biz news in the Inquirer tabloid Bandera (and why we are moved, if we are moved.)

Vice Ganda unti-unting malalaos dahil sa pambabastos kay Jessica Soho. (Maybe, maybe not. But that joke was filthy foul.)

Vice tinalakan ni Cherie Gil, pati mga bossing ng ABS. (Uh-oh. You don’t want her to slap you, or throw liquid in your face.)

“Sorry” ni Vice kay Jessica Soho drama lang, mayabang at maangas pa rin. (“Let’s move on!” he said. Just like that?)

Charice Pempengco: “Opo, tomboy ako, sorry at patawad sa mga hindi makatanggap sa akin! (It’s their problem.)

Charice malaya na, walang paki kung mawasak ang career. (Two words here: “Aiza Seguerra.” Charice will be fine.)

KC CONCEPCION’S pretty face got a beating from costar.

Charice pinalakpakan ng mga Pinoy; Lea, BB sumaludo sa pagpapakatotoo. (Wagi!)

Mukha ni KC nalamog sa mga sampal ni Juday. (A pretty mess, it must have been.)

Juday nauubos din ang pasensiya: “May moments na nagtataray din ako!” (Which makes you human. Don’t worry.)

Juday sumusuko lagi sa away nila ni Ryan: “Kasi nga madalas ako ang may kasalanan!” (Uh, that doesn’t sound right.)

Mommy Divine nakapili na, botong-boto kay Miguel Villafuerte para kay Sarah. (Boto rin kaya si Sarah? Abangan.)

Sarah bagong kinababaliwan ni Matteo; Jessy galit na nakipaghiwalay. (Ayan na.)

Kris handa nang “lumayas” sa Pinas kasama sina Josh at Bimby. (Promise?)

SARAH Geronimo is torn between two hunks now.

James Yap wala nang paki kay Kris, patuloy na ipaglalaban si Bimby. (But of course! Anak ’yun, ano?)

James ’di na puwedeng lapitan o kausapin si Kris… habambuhay. (OK lang sa kanya, we heard.)

Maja kay Gerald: “Sabi ko, laban lang nang laban! Kaya natin ’yan!” (Parang teleserye.)

Puso ni Bianca King winasak ni Dennis kaya lumayas ng Pinas; sunod-sunod ang kamalasan. (Pretty isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, huh?)

Jennylyn halos hubo’t hubad sa bagong cover ng FHM, di nahiya kay Luis at sa anak. (FHM, right?)

“Sisterakas” natalo na ng pelikula nina Sarah at John Lloyd sa box office, kumita ng mahigit P400M. (Dahil ba ’yan sa…?)

“Apoy sa Dagat” tatapusin na dahil kay Angelica (Panganiban)? (Could also be plot deficiency.)

Angel (Locsin) takot magpakasal kay Phil (Younghusband), ayaw pang mabuntis at magka-baby. (E di…’wag.)

Angel nakatatlong best actress awards na; Bea napolitika kaya talunan sa Luna Awards. (Pag natalo, politika—anuva?!)

Gov. Vi, Ate Guy butata na naman kay Angel, Bea umuwing luhaan.(There’s always next year. And another set of jurors.)