Still in time for April Fools’ Week, here’s a fresh batch of boob-tube booboos to chase your blues away:
Host: Why are there so many musicians in your family?
Guest: Well, I guess, you know the saying—“Birds of the same feathers pluck together!”
(Uh, that’s not how that saying goes!)
* * *
Host: What do we need to do to become good public speakers like you?
Guest: A good tip is, at the start of your talk, make sure you break some jokes!
(As in, breaking something like the egg you’ve just laid?)
* * *
Host: Is this your first time to visit Manila?
Guest: Oh, no, I love Manila, I can come here every five years!
(You love us that much, huh?)
* * *
Host: What’s your relation to (name of celebrity)?
Guest: Oh, I’m his former daughter!
(Figure that out . . .)
* * *
Host: Why did you leave your hometown to find your fortune in Manila?
Guest: It was hard times there, and frankly, the food was getting shortage!
(Sniff, wawa you.)
* * *
Host: You’ve had so many different jobs in the course of your colorful life. —What’s your profession now?
Guest: Oh, I’m a retiring nurse.
(Figure that out—again!)
* * *
Host: When the rains come, what signs should we watch out for to keep from getting sick?
Guest: Well, it’s bad if nagkaroon ka ng parang stomach something.
(Wow, thanks for being so specific!)
* * *
Host: What’s a major problem that should be solved to fix our huge traffic mess?
Guest: First of all, there are too many buses flying Edsa!
—(No, you got it all wrong—more buses should be “flying” there!)
* * *
Host: Since unfortunately you did not win in the competition, what can you say to the winner?
Guest: Since I did not win, obviously what I think is now mute and academic!
(Oo nga naman—so, mum’s the word!)
* * *
Host: What are you looking for in the commercial models you discover?
Guest: They should have beautiful and flowing hair and skin!
(The hair part we get—but, the flowing skin?!)