Michaelangelo the archangel, hard money and other boob-tube booboos
HOST: With the investigation now being poised against you, are you willing to cooperate with the investigators no matter what?
Guest: No problem—no matter what, basta for the end of justice!
(The end of justice? —What are you saying?)
***
Host: When you have severe problems, what do you do?
Guest: Oh, I pray!
Host: Oh, really? Whom do you pray to?
Guest: Of course, God—but also to Michaelangelo, the archangel.
(—As opposed to his tocayo, Michaelangelo, the similarly famous artist?)
***
Host: What have been some of your sad or bad experiences in show biz?
Guest: Well, it’s no secret that we get a lot of sexual propositions, because as we all know, show biz is a gay-infested industry!
(—What a weird way to put it!)
***
Host: I hear that you might change your line of business next year? When will you decide?
Guest: Well, before the end of the year, I will have to decide will stay, or not will stay.
(Stop talking like a telegram!)
Online business
Host: Is there a lot of money to be made in an online business like yours?
Guest: Of course, as long as you preserve, it’s all yours!
(Preserve? —Oh, persevere!)
***
Host: What do you remember about your late father, how did he help you become what you are now?
Guest: He would give you advices in a way that you need them!
(Ano raw?)
***
Host: How proud are you of your family’s business?
Guest: Very. We put it up alone from the start with our hard money!
(—As opposed to the soft variety?)
***
Host: How do you motivate your students to excel?
Guest: I tell them, as long as they work hard and avoid drugs and other what, before they don’t know, successful na sila!
(Promise, ha?)
***
Host: What is the secret to your appeal to many women?
Guest: I think it’s my baby skin!
(No, it’s your kapal muks!)
***
Host: Of all of your many achievements, what are you proudest of?
Guest: Definitely my being an actor. —It’s my most pride profession!
(Do tell!)
***
Host: What’s the traffic like tonight?
Field reporter: The MMDA reports that, due to the rain, there is a spate of slippery accidents along Edsa.
(Slippery accidents? What’s that?)
***
Host: What are the effects of the floods on average people?
Guest: The floods are wetting away the people!
(Ask a silly question—and you get an even sillier answer!)
